Yesterday was weird. I happily went to the Dr to get unhooked from 50 hours of joy juice then came home and went straight to sleep. I woke around 2pm, nuked a frozen meal for lunch and back to sleep until 6pm. Woke, had a half of a cheese sandwich and an apple and was in bed by 8:30 and slept to 7:30 this morning. I guess that's my body recouping from the onslaught of chemicals.
"Lord, I thank You, that through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, I have passed out from under the curse and have entered into the blessings of Abraham whom You blessed in all things - I am blessed with good health and favor." Galatians 3:13-14
I am blessed with good health and favor. What an amazing affirmation for me to remember throughout today. After all, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I have been thinking about decorating for Christmas and have done nothing. Not sure if I am going to get into the boxes or not. Everyone is posting pics of their beautiful trees on FB and it makes me want to. Maybe that will be my goal for today. After I take Chipper for a Canine Influenza shot. I don't get flu shots but Chipper does. Oh Jo.............sometimes I think I have my priorities a little skewed.
The more I write the more excited I get about this blessed time of year. It is such a time of love and giving and, I hope, forgiving. The one thing I never want to do is to carry bad feelings toward anyone throughout the year. I hope if there is someone in your life that you have distanced yourself from, you will at least send them light and love from your heart to theirs.
Father God, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for this special time of year in which we share the joy of the birth of Jesus. Help us to remember the love He brought into the world and to share that love, not just with friends and relatives but with everyone we come into contact with.
Help us, Father, to release any anger or resentment that we feel toward another. We can do it by just closing our eyes, picturing them and sending them Your blessings. Remind us daily to practice love and forgiveness.
Father, we give special thanks for our friend Renee today. She has finished chemo, surgery, radiation and is cancer free and waiting for healing for her final surgery. Thank You for blessing her with Your healing mercies.
These things I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.
Amen
Friday, November 30, 2012
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Day 219 Bad News Good News
The bad news is that my blood platelets were too low to take a full compliment of meds yesterday. That means that oxilliplatin, the big kahuna, was left out of my cocktail. The good news is that oxilliplatin was left out of my cocktail yesterday. I'm still hooked up and pumping two of the three chemos plus all the extras that go along with it.
The dose of benadryl sent me home to sleep for four hours. Then the steroids kicked in so I was wired enough to not sleep last night. The time off from the one chemical is going to give my platelets and white blood cells, which were lower than last time, an opportunity to rebuild and I won't need the shot to jumpstart the bone marrow for the white cells. Yay!
"I am fearfully and wonderfully made." My new mantra.
It is so nice to wake this morning without trembling hands, a trembling voice, and not having to drink water from the side of my mouth so it doesn't pass the scaly feeling in the back of my throat. This just sort of gives me a glimpse into what it's going to be like after my next/LAST round. I know that I am going to heal quickly and get back on the road to strength in a very short time. Why? Because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I have been slacking off on my supplements because I've really been in the dumps the past few weeks, in case you haven't noticed, but am so encouraged today that I reordered BetaGlucan. I only have one dose left and I don't want to run out. I'm convinced that it is one of the things that has kept me from getting flu/cold/allergies through this. That and staying in my house and out of crowds as much as possible. I really just get out to buy groceries once a week and to ship paintings. I also reordered AlgaeCal for bone density. I already had osteoporosis and bone loss is another side effect of chemo. If you're curious about either of these, you can find out about the clinical studies being done on BetaGlucan for supporting immune health at www.betterhealthway.com. I learned about AlgaeCal on Dr Oz show and it, along with a booster, are proving to restore bone density. www.algaecal.com . That along with vitamin D, multivitamin for women and a probiotic has helped me so much. I keep all of them in a basket plus my 3 antinausea meds on an end table by the couch where I veg. I've moved them from the kitchen to the nightstand to the end table. That's the place where I see them most often and remember to take.
I'm planning a busy day today. I'll let you know tomorrow how I feel after I'm unhooked. Time to get on with this glorious day.
Precious Lord/Jehovah Rapha,
Thank you for another beautiful day. Thank You for the crisp mornings and the sunny afternoons. Thank You for my home to shelter me and my car to transport me. Thank You Father for my talent that allows me the money to honor you and to pay my bills. Thank You for my precious family and for my church family that pray for me. Thank You for the followers of this blog that pray for me and for the other warriors fighting this terrible enemy. I thank You for the new discoveries made daily to wipe out cancer in all it's forms. I thank You for the strength You give my fellow warriors to weather the storm. After all, as a child of God, we are fearfully and wonderfully made and healing is in our dna.
Thank You Father, Thank You.
In Jesus' name, the name above all names.
Amen
The dose of benadryl sent me home to sleep for four hours. Then the steroids kicked in so I was wired enough to not sleep last night. The time off from the one chemical is going to give my platelets and white blood cells, which were lower than last time, an opportunity to rebuild and I won't need the shot to jumpstart the bone marrow for the white cells. Yay!
"I am fearfully and wonderfully made." My new mantra.
It is so nice to wake this morning without trembling hands, a trembling voice, and not having to drink water from the side of my mouth so it doesn't pass the scaly feeling in the back of my throat. This just sort of gives me a glimpse into what it's going to be like after my next/LAST round. I know that I am going to heal quickly and get back on the road to strength in a very short time. Why? Because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I have been slacking off on my supplements because I've really been in the dumps the past few weeks, in case you haven't noticed, but am so encouraged today that I reordered BetaGlucan. I only have one dose left and I don't want to run out. I'm convinced that it is one of the things that has kept me from getting flu/cold/allergies through this. That and staying in my house and out of crowds as much as possible. I really just get out to buy groceries once a week and to ship paintings. I also reordered AlgaeCal for bone density. I already had osteoporosis and bone loss is another side effect of chemo. If you're curious about either of these, you can find out about the clinical studies being done on BetaGlucan for supporting immune health at www.betterhealthway.com. I learned about AlgaeCal on Dr Oz show and it, along with a booster, are proving to restore bone density. www.algaecal.com . That along with vitamin D, multivitamin for women and a probiotic has helped me so much. I keep all of them in a basket plus my 3 antinausea meds on an end table by the couch where I veg. I've moved them from the kitchen to the nightstand to the end table. That's the place where I see them most often and remember to take.
I'm planning a busy day today. I'll let you know tomorrow how I feel after I'm unhooked. Time to get on with this glorious day.
Precious Lord/Jehovah Rapha,
Thank you for another beautiful day. Thank You for the crisp mornings and the sunny afternoons. Thank You for my home to shelter me and my car to transport me. Thank You Father for my talent that allows me the money to honor you and to pay my bills. Thank You for my precious family and for my church family that pray for me. Thank You for the followers of this blog that pray for me and for the other warriors fighting this terrible enemy. I thank You for the new discoveries made daily to wipe out cancer in all it's forms. I thank You for the strength You give my fellow warriors to weather the storm. After all, as a child of God, we are fearfully and wonderfully made and healing is in our dna.
Thank You Father, Thank You.
In Jesus' name, the name above all names.
Amen
Monday, November 26, 2012
Day 217 Family, Food, and Football
I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. The 20lb turkey turned out perfectly. It was a joint effort since my son in law had to come take it out of the oven and then my grandson had to come transport it to daughter's house. Food was delicious and Texans won. All that with a layer of nausea hanging over everything. It came late on Wednesday and has hung around for the duration. I've tried to take as few meds as possible but had to resort to two of them yesterday.
It gets me down but through it all, I was able to turn out the turkey, dressing, turkey gravy, giblet gravy, cucumbers for Logan and a coconut cream pie for my son in law. Oh, and some peanut brittle. The last two days were spent working on a paddle with Logan for his "big bro" at the fraternity he is pledging. That was fun. Lots of time to talk. It made me realize how seldom we get quiet one on one times with our loved ones. So much talk is around the periphery and not deep down communication. Doing some sort of work or craft together is the best thing. Heads down at work and our minds are free to wander and to share things we might not ever have gotten around to before. I learned things about him and he learned things about me. Blessed time.
Today is blood work day and then tomorrow starts Round 11. After that just one more. You would think I am excited to get it started and over but the last two rounds have been so rough that I am really dreading it. I know I can talk myself out of the doldrums but not sure how at this moment. Well, actually, yes I do. My little notbook of verses is here on my desk with all I really need to get myself back up and going.
"I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, that I know very well." Psalm 139:14
I am fearfully and wonderfully made. My body had taken a beating since June. First a surgery to remove part of my colon and I bounced back from that. Then 10 rounds so far of a foreign chemical being pumped into my body to kill any remaining cancer cells. My body has hung in there, looking and feeling a little worse for wear but ready to get back to normal the second they disconnect the pump from Round 12. Okay, I'm already starting to feel better.
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You Father for Your words that can restore my spirit and my mind, body and soul, just by reciting and meditating on them. Help me to daily find the right words to keep myself in a positive frame of mind, knowing that I am healed and that every cancer cell in my body has been obliterated so completely that it will never be able to take hold again.
I ask this same healing for every warrior fighting this same enemy. Show them where to find Your words that will fortify and restore their spirit with the strength to win the war.
I ask these things in Jesus' name, the one true Messiah.
Amen
It gets me down but through it all, I was able to turn out the turkey, dressing, turkey gravy, giblet gravy, cucumbers for Logan and a coconut cream pie for my son in law. Oh, and some peanut brittle. The last two days were spent working on a paddle with Logan for his "big bro" at the fraternity he is pledging. That was fun. Lots of time to talk. It made me realize how seldom we get quiet one on one times with our loved ones. So much talk is around the periphery and not deep down communication. Doing some sort of work or craft together is the best thing. Heads down at work and our minds are free to wander and to share things we might not ever have gotten around to before. I learned things about him and he learned things about me. Blessed time.
Today is blood work day and then tomorrow starts Round 11. After that just one more. You would think I am excited to get it started and over but the last two rounds have been so rough that I am really dreading it. I know I can talk myself out of the doldrums but not sure how at this moment. Well, actually, yes I do. My little notbook of verses is here on my desk with all I really need to get myself back up and going.
"I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works, that I know very well." Psalm 139:14
I am fearfully and wonderfully made. My body had taken a beating since June. First a surgery to remove part of my colon and I bounced back from that. Then 10 rounds so far of a foreign chemical being pumped into my body to kill any remaining cancer cells. My body has hung in there, looking and feeling a little worse for wear but ready to get back to normal the second they disconnect the pump from Round 12. Okay, I'm already starting to feel better.
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You Father for Your words that can restore my spirit and my mind, body and soul, just by reciting and meditating on them. Help me to daily find the right words to keep myself in a positive frame of mind, knowing that I am healed and that every cancer cell in my body has been obliterated so completely that it will never be able to take hold again.
I ask this same healing for every warrior fighting this same enemy. Show them where to find Your words that will fortify and restore their spirit with the strength to win the war.
I ask these things in Jesus' name, the one true Messiah.
Amen
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Day 212 Good "Firsts" for a change............
Good day yesterday. In fact, it was so good that I took Chipper for a walk. That was the first time since starting Joy Juice that I've had enough energy to take my handsome guy out for a walk. He was so excited. After that I took him to the vet for a bath and did my shopping for Thanksgiving. Even though it required two 2 hour naps to get through the rest of the day, I made it without any nausea meds.
While in the grocery store, I ran into a friend I had not seen in several months. She did not know of the diagnosis and the first words out of her mouth were "Jo! I didn't recognize you." I thought but didn't say "That's okay. I don't even recognize myself." A little bit of a downer but I know it's only temporary.
I was thinking yesterday, after receiving not the best news from a friend, how much easier it is to pray for others than it is to pray for myself. I'm sure that I'm not the only person to feel that way. I think that's why when the little book, The Prayer of Jabez came out, it was such a hit. For the first time, it gave us permission to pray for outselves and to not feel guilty about it.
The reason for thinking about this is a prayer request from my church for a friend's daughter in law who is four months pregnant. Lots of issues with the baby including her kidneys not working causing huge cysts on the baby's arms, the danger of brain damage, heart problems and on and on. For some reason, I instantly knew that little girl was going to be a blessing to everyone who knew of her, regardless of the outcome of her birth. It seemed like every few minutes I could see her and I would stop what I was doing to pray for her. I know that prayers are going out for her from so many areas, that she can't help but be blessed. I could just feel God's presence every time I prayed. If she does nothing else, that precious child has helped others by taking their prayers to a higher level.
Precious Father, Jehovah Rapha,
I ask your healing mercies on the little girl, waiting to be born into this world, totally unaware of the nature of her birth and how many are sending her prayers for love, health and healing. Maybe she does know. Thank You for the honor of being able to pray for this child.
Father, thank You for the knowledge that it is okay to pray for myself, asking Your favor, love, and healing for me. Even though it isn't easy to do, please remind me daily to ask for those things when I stop to give thanks for all You've done for me.
Life is so precious and I don't want to take it or You for granted.
I love You Father. I love You.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen
While in the grocery store, I ran into a friend I had not seen in several months. She did not know of the diagnosis and the first words out of her mouth were "Jo! I didn't recognize you." I thought but didn't say "That's okay. I don't even recognize myself." A little bit of a downer but I know it's only temporary.
I was thinking yesterday, after receiving not the best news from a friend, how much easier it is to pray for others than it is to pray for myself. I'm sure that I'm not the only person to feel that way. I think that's why when the little book, The Prayer of Jabez came out, it was such a hit. For the first time, it gave us permission to pray for outselves and to not feel guilty about it.
The reason for thinking about this is a prayer request from my church for a friend's daughter in law who is four months pregnant. Lots of issues with the baby including her kidneys not working causing huge cysts on the baby's arms, the danger of brain damage, heart problems and on and on. For some reason, I instantly knew that little girl was going to be a blessing to everyone who knew of her, regardless of the outcome of her birth. It seemed like every few minutes I could see her and I would stop what I was doing to pray for her. I know that prayers are going out for her from so many areas, that she can't help but be blessed. I could just feel God's presence every time I prayed. If she does nothing else, that precious child has helped others by taking their prayers to a higher level.
Precious Father, Jehovah Rapha,
I ask your healing mercies on the little girl, waiting to be born into this world, totally unaware of the nature of her birth and how many are sending her prayers for love, health and healing. Maybe she does know. Thank You for the honor of being able to pray for this child.
Father, thank You for the knowledge that it is okay to pray for myself, asking Your favor, love, and healing for me. Even though it isn't easy to do, please remind me daily to ask for those things when I stop to give thanks for all You've done for me.
Life is so precious and I don't want to take it or You for granted.
I love You Father. I love You.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen
Monday, November 19, 2012
Day 210 Thank You Lord
Well, I'm over my pity party and feeling somewhat better. Nausea has stayed around but I've been able to manage without meds since Saturday. I was up part of the day Saturday and cleaned my bathroom and bedroom and, yes, it took most of the day. Not that it was that dirty............well, maybe it was. Then it took all day with many laydown rests inbetween for me to get the living area and kitchen done yesterday. My house is sparkly now and it feels good.
I'm excited about Thanksgiving. My bestie, Darlene, is coming out to spend the day with me and the family. My only task is to cook the turkey which is usually a snap. Or at least it was until my precious little girl got a TWENTY POUND TURKEY!! Oh my gosh, I don't have the strength to lift that right now. I guess it'll be okay because my grandson will have to come put it in the oven for me and come back to take it out. What a treat that's gonna be. Any excuse to get his handsome face over here for a visit.
Two art sales this week so I'll be packing and shipping. Then family and football all day Thursday. I am more excited for the holiday season than I've been in years. Sort of like my birthday. Not just another Thanksgiving. It's THANKSGIVING. And not to forget that giving thanks is the most important part of it.
Precious Father, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for another beautiful day. Thank You for the freedom to live and worship in a country that was built on Your principles. Thank You for my family and for my church. Thank You for my art that gives me independence and the ability to share with others. Thank You for Your healing mercies that You shower daily on each cancer warrior out there fighting this dreaded enemy. Thank You for loving, blessing and protecting each of us.
I ask special healing mercies Father for my childhood friend Judy who is undergoing surgery today. Bless her with skilled surgeons and a quick recovery.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen
I'm excited about Thanksgiving. My bestie, Darlene, is coming out to spend the day with me and the family. My only task is to cook the turkey which is usually a snap. Or at least it was until my precious little girl got a TWENTY POUND TURKEY!! Oh my gosh, I don't have the strength to lift that right now. I guess it'll be okay because my grandson will have to come put it in the oven for me and come back to take it out. What a treat that's gonna be. Any excuse to get his handsome face over here for a visit.
Two art sales this week so I'll be packing and shipping. Then family and football all day Thursday. I am more excited for the holiday season than I've been in years. Sort of like my birthday. Not just another Thanksgiving. It's THANKSGIVING. And not to forget that giving thanks is the most important part of it.
Precious Father, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for another beautiful day. Thank You for the freedom to live and worship in a country that was built on Your principles. Thank You for my family and for my church. Thank You for my art that gives me independence and the ability to share with others. Thank You for Your healing mercies that You shower daily on each cancer warrior out there fighting this dreaded enemy. Thank You for loving, blessing and protecting each of us.
I ask special healing mercies Father for my childhood friend Judy who is undergoing surgery today. Bless her with skilled surgeons and a quick recovery.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen
Friday, November 16, 2012
Day 207 Just Two More
You would think that since I'm receiving the same chemo every two weeks, the side effects would be the same. Not so. The neuropathy this time has been pretty intense. Nerve endings in my fingers and toes feel like electrical shocks every time I touch something that isn't warm. I have the temp in the house turned up above where I like it but it seems to be helping.
I was unhooked from the pump around noon yesterday and the symptoms have eased a little. My salivary glands still hurt terribly with my first bite of food and tear ducts are even worse if my eyes water. Hopefully today is the last day of this and by tomorrow I'll be getting back to my version of normal.
Just two more. I keep telling myself.........just two more. Just two more and I'll be done. Just two more and no more nausea, no more neuropathy. Just two more and my hair will start to grow back. Just two more and my head and hands and legs and voice won't shake. Just two more and I'll have the energy to exercise a little and start to get some muscle tone back. Just two more and I'll start back on the anticancer diet that I can't stomach right now. Just two more and I'll have my life back.
Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself today. Sorry about that but I just get there once in a while and it's almost easier to give in to it and get it over with than to fight it and have it lingering in the back of my mind for a longer time.
Friend Rachel posted this scripture this morning and it helped. Thanks Rachel.
"Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Please forgive my whining and self pity. I know there are so many that are much worse off than me. Just let me remember that You are always with me, holding me in the palm of Your hand, wrapping me in Your loving arms. I am so grateful and love You so much.
Thank You for all You do for me all day every day. Give me the strength and courage to weather this storm as a child of Yours should...with faith and knowledge that no matter the outcome, it is all good.
In Jesus' precious name,
Amen
I was unhooked from the pump around noon yesterday and the symptoms have eased a little. My salivary glands still hurt terribly with my first bite of food and tear ducts are even worse if my eyes water. Hopefully today is the last day of this and by tomorrow I'll be getting back to my version of normal.
Just two more. I keep telling myself.........just two more. Just two more and I'll be done. Just two more and no more nausea, no more neuropathy. Just two more and my hair will start to grow back. Just two more and my head and hands and legs and voice won't shake. Just two more and I'll have the energy to exercise a little and start to get some muscle tone back. Just two more and I'll start back on the anticancer diet that I can't stomach right now. Just two more and I'll have my life back.
Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself today. Sorry about that but I just get there once in a while and it's almost easier to give in to it and get it over with than to fight it and have it lingering in the back of my mind for a longer time.
Friend Rachel posted this scripture this morning and it helped. Thanks Rachel.
"Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Please forgive my whining and self pity. I know there are so many that are much worse off than me. Just let me remember that You are always with me, holding me in the palm of Your hand, wrapping me in Your loving arms. I am so grateful and love You so much.
Thank You for all You do for me all day every day. Give me the strength and courage to weather this storm as a child of Yours should...with faith and knowledge that no matter the outcome, it is all good.
In Jesus' precious name,
Amen
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Day 205 No Shot!
Huge thank you to everyone who prayed over my bloodwork. White cells again down but not enough to require a shot. I'm so grateful because it sets me back a few days and I don't want it interfering with Thanksgiving.
Just a quick note today. Had reaction to cold again yesterday during infusion and still today. I'm in flannel pajamas with a big sweater, two pair of socks and periodically I have to put on the big warm gloves. I have to warm water in my mouth before I can swallow.
My voice and hands and legs are shaky and I'll probably need a full compliment of nausea meds today but I get unhooked from the pump tomorrow and it'll be all uphill from there.
Thank You Jesus for all You do for me and for all of us. It's all You, all You.
Amen
Just a quick note today. Had reaction to cold again yesterday during infusion and still today. I'm in flannel pajamas with a big sweater, two pair of socks and periodically I have to put on the big warm gloves. I have to warm water in my mouth before I can swallow.
My voice and hands and legs are shaky and I'll probably need a full compliment of nausea meds today but I get unhooked from the pump tomorrow and it'll be all uphill from there.
Thank You Jesus for all You do for me and for all of us. It's all You, all You.
Amen
Monday, November 12, 2012
Day 203 The Day After...........
Thank you all for the wonderful birthday wishes. They all came true because I had a memorable evening with my little family. Though we're few, the love is huge and I'm so grateful.
I looked at myself in the mirror in Mel's house last night and I was shocked. The mirror is larger and lighting is different from mine and I saw for the first time how much hair I've lost, mostly in the front. I sort of look like those guys getting hair transplants where you see little plugs of hair poking up out of a bare scalp. Not a pretty sight. Oh well. I just realized that I don't care. I worried early on about getting a wig if this happened but now I've decided it's just not worth the trouble. Lots of women have thin hair and, besides, it'll grow back once chemo is over.............I hope. Not that I don't care how I look. I do. But there are some things that are just not worth worrying about.
I had an ah ha moment yesterday. I ran in to Walmart to pick something up and the lady in front of me in the checkout line turned out to be someone I hadn't seen in several years. We hugged and when she asked how I was doing, instead of telling her I was going thru chemo for colon cancer to explain why I look like a pale balding old lady, I just smiled and said, "Great." I didn't realize until I had left the store what an important moment that was for me. I did not identify myself as a cancer fighter/survivor/victor. Just me. Jo Edwards and I'm doing great.
I'll be leaving in a few minutes for blood work and then tomorrow the start of treatment #10. Five months down. I won't make light of it because it's been a really difficult five months but there's light at the end of the tunnel. Only two more treatments after this one, then a pet scan and I'll be done.
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for this cool and cloudy day, a sign of a change of seasons, and for the excitement and anticipation that change brings.
I thank You Father for taking me through the last five months, wrapped in Your healing and loving arms. Thank You for all You've taught me through this.
I ask that same comfort for each of my fellow cancer warriors out there. I ask Your healing mercies for each one as they face another day of challenges. Teach us to count it all joy as we draw closer to You through these changes.
I ask special blessings on the medical staff and care givers that tend these valiant warriors. Give them special insight into what is best for each one of us.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen
I looked at myself in the mirror in Mel's house last night and I was shocked. The mirror is larger and lighting is different from mine and I saw for the first time how much hair I've lost, mostly in the front. I sort of look like those guys getting hair transplants where you see little plugs of hair poking up out of a bare scalp. Not a pretty sight. Oh well. I just realized that I don't care. I worried early on about getting a wig if this happened but now I've decided it's just not worth the trouble. Lots of women have thin hair and, besides, it'll grow back once chemo is over.............I hope. Not that I don't care how I look. I do. But there are some things that are just not worth worrying about.
I had an ah ha moment yesterday. I ran in to Walmart to pick something up and the lady in front of me in the checkout line turned out to be someone I hadn't seen in several years. We hugged and when she asked how I was doing, instead of telling her I was going thru chemo for colon cancer to explain why I look like a pale balding old lady, I just smiled and said, "Great." I didn't realize until I had left the store what an important moment that was for me. I did not identify myself as a cancer fighter/survivor/victor. Just me. Jo Edwards and I'm doing great.
I'll be leaving in a few minutes for blood work and then tomorrow the start of treatment #10. Five months down. I won't make light of it because it's been a really difficult five months but there's light at the end of the tunnel. Only two more treatments after this one, then a pet scan and I'll be done.
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for this cool and cloudy day, a sign of a change of seasons, and for the excitement and anticipation that change brings.
I thank You Father for taking me through the last five months, wrapped in Your healing and loving arms. Thank You for all You've taught me through this.
I ask that same comfort for each of my fellow cancer warriors out there. I ask Your healing mercies for each one as they face another day of challenges. Teach us to count it all joy as we draw closer to You through these changes.
I ask special blessings on the medical staff and care givers that tend these valiant warriors. Give them special insight into what is best for each one of us.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Day 202 Happy Birthday ................
to me!!!! I think that from now on, birthdays are going to have much more meaning than they have ever had before. Before it was just another birthday. Now, it's ANOTHER BIRTHDAY!! Praise God! I'm so grateful to be here and in relative good health. I know that nothing will ever be the same again and that's okay. Change is good.
Yesterday's Daily Word was about change and this statement has stayed with me.
"Just as the seasons change to allow God's life giving cycle to do it's powerful work, my life changes to allow God's life giving presence to do it's work in me."
I have to say that in the midst of a diagnosis of colon cancer and in the midst of six months of chemo, I've never felt so cared for or God's presence so intensely. Something good can be found in every situation and if it is bringing me closer to God through my situation, instead of screaming that I want my life back, I can only say Thank You Father.
So, I have a restful day planned so I can spend the evening celebrating with my precious daughter, son-in-law and grandson. They're frying oysters and shrimp for me and I can't wait.
I have a prayer request for me today. I'll be doing bloodwork tomorrow and if my white blood cells are too low, I'll have to have another shot to supercharge my bone marrow to produce more. I had one after the treatment before last and it was the sickest I had been in a long while. I'm asking for prayer that I won't need that shot this coming week.
Father God, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for another day on this glorious earth that You breathed into existence. Thank You for another year to worship and honor You. Thank You for change bringing You closer and more present in my life.
Father, I ask today that you bless my body with strong white blood cells so I won't need another shot next week. You are the miracle maker and I am asking this in Jesus' name.
I ask Father that every cancer warrior out there today feel Your love and healing presence in their life as they go through the same changes that I am going through. Bless them, strengthen them and let them appreciate all that You are doing for them every minute of every day.
In Jesus' name, the name above cancer, the name above all names.
Amen
Yesterday's Daily Word was about change and this statement has stayed with me.
"Just as the seasons change to allow God's life giving cycle to do it's powerful work, my life changes to allow God's life giving presence to do it's work in me."
I have to say that in the midst of a diagnosis of colon cancer and in the midst of six months of chemo, I've never felt so cared for or God's presence so intensely. Something good can be found in every situation and if it is bringing me closer to God through my situation, instead of screaming that I want my life back, I can only say Thank You Father.
So, I have a restful day planned so I can spend the evening celebrating with my precious daughter, son-in-law and grandson. They're frying oysters and shrimp for me and I can't wait.
I have a prayer request for me today. I'll be doing bloodwork tomorrow and if my white blood cells are too low, I'll have to have another shot to supercharge my bone marrow to produce more. I had one after the treatment before last and it was the sickest I had been in a long while. I'm asking for prayer that I won't need that shot this coming week.
Father God, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for another day on this glorious earth that You breathed into existence. Thank You for another year to worship and honor You. Thank You for change bringing You closer and more present in my life.
Father, I ask today that you bless my body with strong white blood cells so I won't need another shot next week. You are the miracle maker and I am asking this in Jesus' name.
I ask Father that every cancer warrior out there today feel Your love and healing presence in their life as they go through the same changes that I am going through. Bless them, strengthen them and let them appreciate all that You are doing for them every minute of every day.
In Jesus' name, the name above cancer, the name above all names.
Amen
Friday, November 9, 2012
Day 200 Not Alone
It's hard to understand the ups and downs of this crazy treatment unless you're going through it or have been through it. I try to analyze what I've done, what I've eaten, what I should have done to make the difference in a good Monday, bad Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and now....a good Friday. No rhyme nor reason to it. I guess it's just how my body is assimilating the chemicals and which med is taking precedence over the other.
Every time I have joy juice, I receive a list of the meds that are mixed into this divine cocktail. Last time it was seven different chemos plus the meds I take orally to control the side effects. What a strong body God has given me to be able to handle all of that stuff. Thank You Jesus.
One of the scriptures I read this morning was this:
" Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure." Psalm 147:5
That tells me that He knows everything I'm going through. He understands what I'm dealing with and I'm not alone. Truly comforting because I do feel alone sometimes. No, I don't want anyone helping me. For me, that would be like giving up. The more independent I can stay, the more normal I feel. I know some people don't understand and I'm so grateful for all the offers of cooking and shopping for me. Those are things I can't relinquish.
For two mornings now, I've been able to drink my own french press coffee. For the past four months, it's tasted like mud and I finally found McD's coffee. No need now. Yesterday I cooked chicken breasts and veggies. Making headway because I have been unable to stand the smell of food cooking. I think my body knows only 3 more treatments and it's getting prepared for getting back to the food I need to be eating rather than eating whatever my stomach can tolerate. Yay!
Two special prayer requests today from Grace who has been a great friend to this blog. She is asking for prayer for Darla who, after a bout with breast cancer 20 years ago, has had it reoccur. She is also asking for prayer for Charlie and Doris as Doris has been put in a home for Alzeheimer patients. Thank you in advance for those of you who pray with us through this blog.
Precious Father, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for Your unmeasureable understanding as You hold each of Your children in the palm of Your hand while they are dealing with sometimes seemingly hopeless illnesses.
We ask Your healing mercies today for Darla. She was a victor over the enemy in the past and we pray that You strengthen her for the fight she is in today, giving her such complete victory over the enemy that he never returns.
We ask also for special mercies and blessings on Charlie and Doris as they step into another phase of her illness. Grant them the peace that surpasses all understanding as they deal with the day to day heartache of this illness which is an enemy in itself. Bless the families, doctors and caregivers of each one of these special people and let your comforting arms surround them as they feel the power of your love.
We ask these things in the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.
Amen
Every time I have joy juice, I receive a list of the meds that are mixed into this divine cocktail. Last time it was seven different chemos plus the meds I take orally to control the side effects. What a strong body God has given me to be able to handle all of that stuff. Thank You Jesus.
One of the scriptures I read this morning was this:
" Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure." Psalm 147:5
That tells me that He knows everything I'm going through. He understands what I'm dealing with and I'm not alone. Truly comforting because I do feel alone sometimes. No, I don't want anyone helping me. For me, that would be like giving up. The more independent I can stay, the more normal I feel. I know some people don't understand and I'm so grateful for all the offers of cooking and shopping for me. Those are things I can't relinquish.
For two mornings now, I've been able to drink my own french press coffee. For the past four months, it's tasted like mud and I finally found McD's coffee. No need now. Yesterday I cooked chicken breasts and veggies. Making headway because I have been unable to stand the smell of food cooking. I think my body knows only 3 more treatments and it's getting prepared for getting back to the food I need to be eating rather than eating whatever my stomach can tolerate. Yay!
Two special prayer requests today from Grace who has been a great friend to this blog. She is asking for prayer for Darla who, after a bout with breast cancer 20 years ago, has had it reoccur. She is also asking for prayer for Charlie and Doris as Doris has been put in a home for Alzeheimer patients. Thank you in advance for those of you who pray with us through this blog.
Precious Father, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for Your unmeasureable understanding as You hold each of Your children in the palm of Your hand while they are dealing with sometimes seemingly hopeless illnesses.
We ask Your healing mercies today for Darla. She was a victor over the enemy in the past and we pray that You strengthen her for the fight she is in today, giving her such complete victory over the enemy that he never returns.
We ask also for special mercies and blessings on Charlie and Doris as they step into another phase of her illness. Grant them the peace that surpasses all understanding as they deal with the day to day heartache of this illness which is an enemy in itself. Bless the families, doctors and caregivers of each one of these special people and let your comforting arms surround them as they feel the power of your love.
We ask these things in the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.
Amen
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Day 198 God Bless America
Just a quick update on me..... Monday was an awesome day. Yesterday not so much but I did get out to vote and run necessary errands and then down for the count. I'm up today, but not feeling so well. Probably more couch time but if that's what it takes to get me up and going maybe tomorrow, so be it.
What I want to do this morning is take my focus off cancer and chemo for a bit and talk about the election. I know, everyone is so glad it's over. Most of the people I communicate with voted for the other candidate. I expected to open emails and fb this morning and see lots of angry rants and defeatist posts. Not so!
All of my readings were uplifting and encouraging and I'm so proud of everyone.
"The Son still shines."
"God is still on the throne."
"Pray for our leaders."
Then friend Rosemary sent out this Verse for the Day.
"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people...for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." 2 Timothy 2:1-2
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for the understanding and guidance you are giving the people of this wonderful nation that still counts You as our Lord and our God. I ask Your blessings on each leader, that you inspire them to follow Your teachings in each decision they make.
I ask also that You touch each person fighting cancer today, that Your healing spirit move mightily within each one of them, girding them for the fight and that You gird our nation and leaders for the fight to protect our right to follow and worship You.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen
What I want to do this morning is take my focus off cancer and chemo for a bit and talk about the election. I know, everyone is so glad it's over. Most of the people I communicate with voted for the other candidate. I expected to open emails and fb this morning and see lots of angry rants and defeatist posts. Not so!
All of my readings were uplifting and encouraging and I'm so proud of everyone.
"The Son still shines."
"God is still on the throne."
"Pray for our leaders."
Then friend Rosemary sent out this Verse for the Day.
"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people...for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." 2 Timothy 2:1-2
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for the understanding and guidance you are giving the people of this wonderful nation that still counts You as our Lord and our God. I ask Your blessings on each leader, that you inspire them to follow Your teachings in each decision they make.
I ask also that You touch each person fighting cancer today, that Your healing spirit move mightily within each one of them, girding them for the fight and that You gird our nation and leaders for the fight to protect our right to follow and worship You.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen
Monday, November 5, 2012
Day 196 Better Yet!
Oh my gosh, I got up feeling great this morning. Started right in painting and painted for a few hours. Laid down for a nap after and realized I didn't need or want a nap. What's up with that?! I'm excited. Thank You Jesus. My appetite is good and nausea is at a minimum so no meds necessary so far today. Yay!
Tomorrow is election day. Probably most of you have already voted. I haven't, as the polling place is only 1/2 block from my house so I usually wait until the actual day to vote. If you haven't voted, please be sure to. Friend Grace reminded me how important it is to pray before voting to make sure we are guided to elect a leader that will lead us in a Godly manner and protect our right to worship our God.
"Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord." Psalm 33:11
I have a special prayer request today. Ray, whose wife and daughter are part of my church family, has received news that cancer has spread to his liver and other parts. Please pray for his healing and for his family who care for him daily. He has some chemo treatments left so prayers that they are powerful and effective.
Friend Frank's family reports that he has another treatment and then will have time off for the holiday. My upcoming treatments are timed perfectly so that my birthday and Thanksgiving both fall on my off weeks. Last Thanksgiving was when I first started feeling so poorly that I thought something serious might be wrong. This one will be a celebration and a true Thanks Giving.
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
I thank You so much for my good health today and for being able to do the things that I'm meant to do. I give You all the praise, honor and glory.
I ask today Father for a miracle as Your healing mercies grant Ray more time with his family, more time to love and worship You, more time to be an example of what prayer can do.
Thank You for the miracle You're working in Frank's life as this journey brings him and his family closer to You than ever before.
Father, I ask Your blessings on our nation as we go to the polls tomorrow. Guide each one of us in making the right decision as we choose which candidates to elect.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.
Amen
Tomorrow is election day. Probably most of you have already voted. I haven't, as the polling place is only 1/2 block from my house so I usually wait until the actual day to vote. If you haven't voted, please be sure to. Friend Grace reminded me how important it is to pray before voting to make sure we are guided to elect a leader that will lead us in a Godly manner and protect our right to worship our God.
"Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord." Psalm 33:11
I have a special prayer request today. Ray, whose wife and daughter are part of my church family, has received news that cancer has spread to his liver and other parts. Please pray for his healing and for his family who care for him daily. He has some chemo treatments left so prayers that they are powerful and effective.
Friend Frank's family reports that he has another treatment and then will have time off for the holiday. My upcoming treatments are timed perfectly so that my birthday and Thanksgiving both fall on my off weeks. Last Thanksgiving was when I first started feeling so poorly that I thought something serious might be wrong. This one will be a celebration and a true Thanks Giving.
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
I thank You so much for my good health today and for being able to do the things that I'm meant to do. I give You all the praise, honor and glory.
I ask today Father for a miracle as Your healing mercies grant Ray more time with his family, more time to love and worship You, more time to be an example of what prayer can do.
Thank You for the miracle You're working in Frank's life as this journey brings him and his family closer to You than ever before.
Father, I ask Your blessings on our nation as we go to the polls tomorrow. Guide each one of us in making the right decision as we choose which candidates to elect.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.
Amen
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Day 195 Better, Praise God
Yay! I'm feeling better. The only thing left from the treatment is my palms are very sensitive. Chipper's soft fur feels like cords when I pet him. Weird. That's okay, it won't last forever and it's not debilitating. I'm just excited. I know that I'll have to rest a couple of times today but I think I'm ahead of schedule for recovery from my last round of joy juice.
"The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust Him." Nahum 1:7
This was posted on FB this morning. How awesome that we can be nurtured anywhere we turn. I added it to my journal of favorite verses. Nahum isn't a readily quoted book but what an wonderful promise to come out of it. I know the Lord is good. I know he's my refuge in times of trouble. I know He cares for those who trust Him. I feel so grateful to have Him on my side through this.
What I'm looking forward to now is three more treatments and then regaining my strength. I cannot wait for that. Lots of things I simply can't do now and that doesn't set right with me. I've always been an "I can do it myself" kind of person. It's been a good lesson to have to rely on the help of others and even more, to rely on the prayers of others.
It crossed my mind the other day that there are probably some people who have never had anyone pray for them. Not because they're necessarily bad people but because they simply don't have God in their life nor does their family or friends. How sad. I was wondering what I could and I thought that when I'm out and about and see someone that looks lost spiritually, I can silently send them blessings. Maybe I'll challenge myself when I next run errands to see how many people I can bless.
Father God, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank you for starting me back on the road to recovery. I feel better and I give You all the praise, honor and glory. It's all You, Father, all You.
Help me this week to keep others in the forefront of my mind and prayers. As I pray for my fellow warriors fighting this enemy, let me remember to pray as well for the lost and forgotten. Let me bless each one I pass in some way.
I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.
Amen
"The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust Him." Nahum 1:7
This was posted on FB this morning. How awesome that we can be nurtured anywhere we turn. I added it to my journal of favorite verses. Nahum isn't a readily quoted book but what an wonderful promise to come out of it. I know the Lord is good. I know he's my refuge in times of trouble. I know He cares for those who trust Him. I feel so grateful to have Him on my side through this.
What I'm looking forward to now is three more treatments and then regaining my strength. I cannot wait for that. Lots of things I simply can't do now and that doesn't set right with me. I've always been an "I can do it myself" kind of person. It's been a good lesson to have to rely on the help of others and even more, to rely on the prayers of others.
It crossed my mind the other day that there are probably some people who have never had anyone pray for them. Not because they're necessarily bad people but because they simply don't have God in their life nor does their family or friends. How sad. I was wondering what I could and I thought that when I'm out and about and see someone that looks lost spiritually, I can silently send them blessings. Maybe I'll challenge myself when I next run errands to see how many people I can bless.
Father God, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank you for starting me back on the road to recovery. I feel better and I give You all the praise, honor and glory. It's all You, Father, all You.
Help me this week to keep others in the forefront of my mind and prayers. As I pray for my fellow warriors fighting this enemy, let me remember to pray as well for the lost and forgotten. Let me bless each one I pass in some way.
I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.
Amen
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Day 194 Still Shaky
I slept all day Thursday after getting unplugged from the chemo and all day Friday. I had no more reactions to cold, but I'm still sort of weak and shaky and old friend, nausea, is back. I wrote morning pages this morning and I hardly recognized my handwriting. It was sort of tiny and squiggly and looked nothing like the writing on the previous pages.
What kept coming through this morning in my writing was gratitude and thankfulness. In a way, I just feel so fortunate that I'm able to paint a little, not much but enough to have enough sales to stay current with bills. I'm so grateful for the people that follow this blog and pray for me and for others on the same journey that I'm on. I'm thankful that I only have THREE MORE TREATMENTS and then I'll be able to work on getting my strength and some muscle mass back. Right now I resemble a deflated balloon but I know that once I'm done with joy juice, normal will quickly return.
I'm grateful for my precious family, my church family, my friends, my home, my little animal family that sticks to me like glue. Chipper Dale, my golden, takes every step that I take. Crystal, my white cat, loves when I'm down for the count so she can snuggle up with me and not share my attention with Chipper.
Most of all, precious Father, I am grateful for Your protection, Your healing and knowing that no matter what happens, You're there with me and for me.
I humble myself before You in gratitude for Your loving presence. I ask that same knowledge of Your love and protection be felt by everyone else out there fighting this dreaded enemy.
I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen.
What kept coming through this morning in my writing was gratitude and thankfulness. In a way, I just feel so fortunate that I'm able to paint a little, not much but enough to have enough sales to stay current with bills. I'm so grateful for the people that follow this blog and pray for me and for others on the same journey that I'm on. I'm thankful that I only have THREE MORE TREATMENTS and then I'll be able to work on getting my strength and some muscle mass back. Right now I resemble a deflated balloon but I know that once I'm done with joy juice, normal will quickly return.
I'm grateful for my precious family, my church family, my friends, my home, my little animal family that sticks to me like glue. Chipper Dale, my golden, takes every step that I take. Crystal, my white cat, loves when I'm down for the count so she can snuggle up with me and not share my attention with Chipper.
Most of all, precious Father, I am grateful for Your protection, Your healing and knowing that no matter what happens, You're there with me and for me.
I humble myself before You in gratitude for Your loving presence. I ask that same knowledge of Your love and protection be felt by everyone else out there fighting this dreaded enemy.
I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen.
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