Today, April 23, 2012, at 3:30pm CTS, I was diagnosed with colon cancer. Me! I have cancer. Me! Jo Edwards. Little Jo Sue Hodnett from Eagle Lake, Texas. I have cancer. How weird is that? I have cancer. I can't believe it. Other people have cancer. Not me.
I have to admit I was nervous on my way to the doctor's office to hear the news. After the colonoscopy last week, he indicated I would have to have surgery but wasn't sure it was cancer. Well, of course it was. Once I heard the words, it was almost a relief. Okay, now I know. I really do have cancer. And so the journey begins.
I had a little cry but not a big one. I sent out an email announcing my news. Some news. Ha! I'm spending the evening alone. My daughter wanted me to come over for dinner but I felt I really needed to process how I'm feeling and exactly how I'm going to handle this.
How am I going to handle this? I don't really know. My first decision is this. I am going to label myself a cancer survivor. I usually think of a cancer survivor as someone whose cancer is in remission. I'm not there yet but as long as I'm alive, I'm a survivor, aren't I? I AM A CANCER SURVIVOR.
What next?
Well, actually next is Cat/Pet Scan on Wednesday for staging. That's a new term I just learned. It means the tests are to determine if the cancer has spread, where to and to what degree.
How will I sleep tonight? Will I even be able to sleep tonight? I don't know. Am I frightened? I don't feel that now but will I feel it when I lay down to try to sleep? Time to find out.
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