Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Day 191 Another First

I'm too weak today to sit up very long so just a quick update.
Went in for infusion yesterday.  White blood cells up, platelets down, otherwise okay.
I had a reaction to the cold temp in the Dr's office yesterday so they had to stop the treatment for a while.  My palms started stinging like ant bites and while I watched them, the looked like someone had painted them with iodine.  Covered up and wearing thick gloves because this is not an unusual reaction for patients on oxilliplatin.
Another big dose of benadryl and I am still sleeping that off.  Up side is that all day yesterday and so far today ..........  no nausea!  That is a wonderful first and about the only time in the last four months that I've been without that heavy muddy feeling in my stomach.

Thank You Father.  I am grateful.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Day 189 Morning Pages

I had an awesome weekend, in spite of being married to the bathroom most of it.  Oh well, only two more months and then my body can start returning to normal.  And I'm excited.  Bloodwork today and tomorrow starts Round 9 of 12.  It seemed like an insurmountable mountain at the beginning but I'm learning to talk to  my mountain as I go through this process.

I've promised a couple of times to talk about "Morning Pages" and today is the day.  Way back when, I was at a standstill with my art career.  Someone suggested I read Julia Cameron's book, The Artist Way.  And I did.  Julia is a writer who hit a creativity block in her writing and came up with some exercises that helped her past her block.  One of the exercises is called "Morning Pages".  It is daily writing of three notebook pages, yes three, in the morning and, yes, every day. 

I know what you're going to say.  That's too much.  If you journal, most of you only journal a paragraph or two.  Morning Pages is not really journaling.  It is a way of clearing your mind so your creativity can come through.  If I run out of things to write about, I can start writing my shopping list or daily to dos.  Shortly my mind and my writing take me to another place to resolve whatever is bothering me or may be on my mind.  Many times I have started with a wrinkled forehead and grumpy face and by the time I'm finished, the forehead is smooth and I'm smiling, excited about the day to come.

I have not written Morning Pages through this journey up until last week.  I think perhaps I did not want to internalize what I was dealing with.  As long as I could keep it on the surface then there were certain aspects of the journey I could avoid thinking about.  Most of the posts I've written have dealt with the physical aspects of this journey and I've only occasionally delved into my true feelings.  That's mostly because, by avoiding,  I don't have to face my true feelings.  I wonder how that is going to change as I continue to write my Morning Pages?   I'll keep you posted.

Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for another glorious sunny, cool, and crisp day here on earth, the creation you imagined into being.
Thank You for my family, my friends, my church family, and the new friends I've made throughout this journey.
Father, I ask today for strength and energy for each of Your warriors fighting this dreaded enemy, cancer.  Bless them with the resolve to see the fight through to complete victory. 
I ask special blessings for friend Sharon as she goes through surgery for colon cancer tomorrow.  Be with the medical staff as they perform their version of miracles and with her family as they support her through her journey.
These things we ask in Jesus' precious name, the name above all names.

Friday, October 26, 2012

Day 186 Hope!

I woke this morning feeling great.  Thank You God.  I felt excited and hopeful for all the good things to come.  I began to think about decorating for Christmas, working up flowerbeds in the spring, turning the soil in my little raised gardens for veggies and herbs, repainting the living room, rehabbing some antiques.  Pretty ambitious, huh?!  I know that after I finish with joy juice, I'll have to start to work on my strength.  Body Designer and maybe a free yoga class for cancer survivors at Memorial Hermann. 

I often stay so focused on right now that I don't look ahead.  Maybe I need to do more looking ahead.  I have learned not to plan too much for one day but it's hard not to take advantage and overdo it on days that I feel like this.

It's all about hope, hope and standing on the promises of God. 

" but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."              Isaiah 40:31

This morning I sat down at my desk in the bedroom for the first time in a long while.  My little One Minute Devotional was still at April 23rd, the day I was first diagnosed with cancer.  What a toll I have allowed this condition to take on my life.  I used to study there every morning and write my "morning pages" - I'll tell you more about those another time.  I haven't been there for six months.  I just moved to the couch where I ailed and felt sorry for myself.  Not to say I won't have more of those days but maybe this is the beginning of the end of them. 

Father God, Jehovah Rapha,
I humbly thank You for this beautiful and glorious day.  I thank You for the energy and sense of well being that I am feeling today.  I know that I'm walking in Your favor today and nothing can keep me down and I am grateful.
Lord, I want to share this good feeling with all my fellow warriors fighting cancer today.  I want to send this same sense of hope and strength to each one of them as they fight their individual battles. Let them know that the time is in sight when they will soar again on wings like eagles, and will run and not grow weary and will walk and not be faint.
It's all You, Father, all You.
In Jesus' precious name, the name above all names.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Day 185 Back in the Kitchen!

Wow.. In spite of a really rough weekend, I felt good enough yesterday to paint and to fix dinner last night.  Instead of a frozen meal, I fixed a healthy tuna salad with boiled egg and apple.  Tuna and apple are both antiangiogenesis.  I made my own coffee this morning.  Still tasted a little muddy and certainly not as good as McD's but it worked.  Scrambled an egg and pan fried some left over baked potato.  Coffee, olive oil for the potatoes and a little tomato catsup.............all antiangiogenesis. 

If you've missed some of my past posts, there are certain foods that discourage the thriving of rogue blood vessels that feed cancer cells.  Lots of evidence now shows that including more of these foods in the diet can help prevent cancer.   You can learn more about it at .  

For some reason, I'm craving fruit the last two days.  Pineapple juice seems to be the only thing that satisfies my thirst.  That along with apple and pears have made me pretty happy.  I should have purchased red grapes when I was at the store.  They're antiangiogenesis too.  I'll pick up some more when I get ready for next week's round of joy juice. 

I praise God for this recuperation because I thought the whole week was going to be a loss.  Not so fast grasshopper.  My God is in the miracle business and anything can happen at any time.

I spoke with long time friend Sharon on the phone last evening.  Sharon beat breast cancer years ago and has now been diagnosed with colon cancer.   Her surgery is scheduled with my surgeon so I know she's in good hands.  Prayers that she'll come through with a good report that the cancer was contained and she won't need chemo.

Precious Father, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for another glorious day here on this earth that you thought into existence.   We love You and are so grateful for every minute to spend honoring You and with our loved ones.
We ask special healing mercies for Sharon today and protection for her as she has surgery next Tuesday.  Father, we know she is in Your hands and she walks in Your favor.  We are expecting good reports from her doctors after surgery.
Thank You Father, for the strength and fortitude that You've given each warrior fighting cancer today.  Thank You for the healing information that leads the researchers daily closer to an answer as to how to eradicate this dreaded enemy.   Bless the researchers, the medical staff and the caregivers that work with these warriors daily. 
We ask these things in Jesus' name, the name above pain, the name above cancer, the name above all names.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Day 184 Up Down Up Down Up Up Up

I had a good night's sleep and woke this morning feeling fairly energetic.  Thank You Father.  I did get out yesterday for a few groceries which always makes me happy because the walk around the store is the most exercise I'm getting lately.  Took care of bills and did a little cleaning.  My plan for today is to paint.  Praise God. 

I was contacted by a new follower yesterday who said God led her to my blog because her husband had just been diagnosed with colon cancer.  Prayers today for this new friend's husband that the report comes back good and the cancer has not spread. 

Friend Renee is back at work while having radiation treatments daily.  What a warrior she is.  Thank You God for her healing. 

Psalm 91 is my favorite chapter for God's protection.  This morning I read an earlier chapter in Psalm and this verse is almost a precursor to Psalm 91.

"O God.  All people may take refuge in the shadow of your wings."    Psalm 36:7

Then I read this statement in the book, Regret, Rehearse, Rejoice:

"Look for God in the midst of all circumstances."

We have to know He is there in order to take refuge in the shadow of His wings.  Someone once said to me that feeling God's presence was like putting on a overcoat, wrapping himself up in God's love and protection.  I like that.  I know that whenever I turn my thoughts to God, I am immediately wrapped in that love and protection, that I can feel it and I can block out all fear and negativity.   What an awesome God we serve.

Father God, Jehovah Rapha,
I humble myself before You this morning in gratitude for another beautiful day, another productive day, and the knowledge that You are here with me right now.  How amazing to feel Your presence and not just think it.  Thank You Father, thank You.
I ask special healing mercies on our new friend whose husband has just been diagnosed with colon cancer.  I am asking for a good report that the cancer is contained and has not spread.  Whatever the report, we know that Your report is the only one that matters.
Thank You Father for stealing Renee to weather the treatments to send cancer running from her body never to return.  She is one of Your special children and we're so grateful for her healing.
I am asking strength and fortitude for everyone out there fighting cancer today.  Make each one of them a victor in this battle.
In the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Day 183 I'm Back, Again

Well, this has been a part of the journey I didn't anticipate at this time.  I was thinking I had the treatment pretty well figured out and under control and knew which days were recovery days and which days would be productive days.  Not so fast, grasshopper.  I was unhooked from chemo on Thursday, then went in for the shot to grow some more white blood cells on Friday.  Not too bad on Saturday but Sunday was another story.  It was bad enough for a mini meltdown which I haven't had in weeks and weeks.   Weak and shaky and, of course, the big N.....nausea.  Mel delivered food and I didn't get up until yesterday.  No body aches so far and I'm grateful for that. 

Now, here's good news.  Insurance sends a nurse practitioner once a year to make sure I'm lucid enough to take my meds.  Please.........   She checked blood pressure, heart rate, oxygen absorption, and for neuropathy.  A little neuropathy which is a side effect of the chemo, but other than being really pale, she said I was very healthy for being on chemo.  Yay!!! 

"Rejoice always.  Pray without ceasing.  In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."            I Thessalonians 5:16-18

So, I have plans for today.  Not sure how far I'll get with them but I'm working on a list.  Whatever I can't finish today, I'll just put off until tomorrow.  I feel like I've earned the right to a little procrastination.

Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
I thank You for bringing me through another challenge.  I couldn't do it without You.  Forgive me for not praying when I'm at my sickest.  If it's a lack of faith, I ask that You strengthen me in my faith in You.  I know You're there for me and for all of us all the time.
I ask healing blessings, Father, for friend Barry who was in a motorcycle accident over the weekend and is in the hospital.
Thank You Father, for taking friend Frank through another round of chemo successfully.
Father, I ask special mercies for each cancer fighter out there today.  Strengthen us, fortify us for the battle against the enemy.  Help us to defeat the enemy so completely that it never returns.
I pray these things in the name of my precious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Day 177 Midnight Musings

It's day 177, barely.  A little after midnight and I'm wide awake.   Tuesday's infusion went well.  I'm all hooked up for today and tomorrow.  Bloodwork was good as well except white blood cells are very low.  I'll go back in on Friday for a shot that will force the bone marrow to manufacture more white cells and Dr. P says I should only need the one shot since I ONLY HAVE FOUR MORE TREATMENTS TO GO!!  Yay!!!

Not sure why I'm up so early except that I had to medicate on Monday and slept about fourteen hours Monday night.  Guess I'm all caught up.  Went to sleep last night around nine and up at twelve.  I hope by the time I'm finished writing my little eyes will start to feel droopy and I can go back to sleep.

I was thinking again while I was at Dr. P's for infusion yesterday how lucky I am.  We all looked like we were wrapped in cocoons.  Each of us in a recliner, a neck pillow behind our head and wrapped up tightly in  one or two blankets.  During the hours I'm there, I hear about what other patients are dealing with.  One lady yesterday who drove many miles to come to Dr. P for treatment is also dealing with diabetes.  Part of the chemo cocktail is delivered with a healthy dose of steroids.  The steroids makes her blood sugar spike and, in addition to the chemo, they have to work to balance her diabetes meds with the steroids.  One elderly lady has a large tumor that is causing her much pain.  Dr. P is working to shrink it with chemo before she has surgery.  She's so sick she has to have someone help her to walk to the restroom.  Some people have family that come with them for help.  Some people have hired nurses that come in with them and stay during treatment and a chauffer to drive them home.  In comparison, I am healthy and strong.  I'm able to drive myself, do  my own housework.....barely....., paint enough to get my bills paid,  take care of my animals and my plants, and praise the Lord for all He has done for me.

"But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them sing for You.  Spread Your protection over them."    Psalm 5:11

"Then Your light shall break forth like the dawn, and Your healing shall spring up quickly"
Isaiah 58:8

What an awesome God we serve.  I am so grateful for every little thing.  Yesterday when I went for my McD coffee, I just had to thank Him for that coffee and for being able to drive to get it and for having the  money to pay for it.  When I stepped out of my car, the feeling of gratitude hit me like a jolt of electricity.  I say this in my prayer often, but it's all Him.  All Him.  All my good is from God and I know it.  He is the unfailing source of my healing, my supply, and He has plans for me and I am grateful.  I don't know those plans but whatever they are, I know they are for my highest good, either now or later. 

Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
I humbly kneel before You in gratitude for everything You do for me.  I thank You for the largest and the smallest blessings.  I know they are all from You.
Father, I ask today for healing for the lady with diabetes and for the lady with the tumor in her abdomen.  Let Your light break forth and Your healing spring up quickly.  I thank You in advance for what You are doing for each of them.
Help me today, Lord, to keep You in my every thought and every deed, in every breath.  It is only through You that I have the wonderful life that I have.  I feel the love You have for me and I love You too.  Thank You Father.  Thank You.
In Jesus' precious name, the name above diabetes, the name above cancer, the name above tumors, the name above all names.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Day 175 Start of Round 8 Week!

It's hard to believe that after this week, I'll only have 4 treatments left.  Wow!  I'm so excited.  Bloodwork today, infusion tomorrow, hooked up to pump Wed and Thursday and then starting recovery again.
I've had a hard time managing the nausea this cycle.  Usually by now I'm off meds or limiting them to the evening.  Today I started with them at 8am.  I was down all day Friday and trying to play catchup in the studio on Saturday.  Sunday was church and what a blessing it was to get back there.
I study and listen and watch some sermons on tv but nothing takes the place of the peace and energy that comes from being part of a spirit filled congregation.

"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing."  Hebrews 10:25

I sort of equate it to watching a football game on tv, which I do a lot of.  It can be exciting but nothing replaces the energy of being in the midst of a huge crowd of fans all rooting for the same team.   I love to watch Joel and David Jeremiah, but it doesn't take the place of being a part of a church family.  If you don't have one or feel unfulfilled where you are going, find another church.  But whatever you do, find one.  The blessings are incomparable.

Praise report from Renee.  She has started her radiation treatments which will complete step 3 of her 4 step journey to cured. 

Prayer request for long time friend Annette who prays with us daily.  Annette has a bad staph infection on her face and it needs healing quickly.

My new neighbor across the street, Earnest,  came over this weekend to introduce himself.  He has prostrate cancer and is on dialysis.  He travels three mornings a week at 4am for 3 hours on a dialysis machine.  In spite of all of this, he has a mobile car detailing service and serves as a deacon in his church.  What an incredible example he is.

Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for yesterday.  Thank You for Texas Cowboy Church, it's leaders and members who all love and honor You in the purest way.  What a blessing it is to be a part of that church family.
Father, we ask in Jesus' name for a sudden and complete healing for Annette from the staph infection that has invaded her body.  That is an ugly enemy not unlike cancer and we pray for it's total elimination so complete that it will never return.
Father, we give special thanks for the healing journey that Renee is on and for how far You've brought her and for taking her through to a complete healing.
Father, we ask in Jesus' name special healing blessings for Earnest today.  Strengthen his body so that he can fight and have victory over the enemy cancer.  We know that Your hand is what lights the fire leading to complete health and victory.
We love You Lord.  We bless and honor You.  It's all You, Father, all You.
In Jesus' precious name, the name above all names.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Day 172 Being Bolder

" Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."               Hebrews 4:16

After I read this scripture this morning, it struck me that I need to be bolder and more direct in my prayer requests.  I'm sharing that because as I am bolder, so will those of you who pray with me.
There is nothing bolder than praying in the Word.

"Help us, o Lord our God, for we rest on You and in Your name we go against this multitude (of cancers)"      2Chronicles 14:11

I have several prayer requests today, so settle yourself down, connect with spirit and join me in holding these people up in prayer, in bold prayer.

First I had a call from a friend, Lillian, a past client.  I haven't seen her or spoken with her in a few years.  It turns out Lillian had colon cancer in 1986, was left with only 6" of colon and has remained cancer free for over 25 years.  Now she is losing her eyesight and asks for prayers to stop the loss.

Lillian's step-granddaughter, Ashley, is only 26 years old and has been fighting multiple cancers for over 3 years.  Currently it is lung cancer that she is dealing with.

Friend Gracie who has been a great moral boost for me throughout this journey is having her gallbladder removed this morning.  She asks for prayer for her and her surgeon for an easy and successful procedure.

Friend Frank met with his oncologist yesterday.  His lymph nodes are down and he has gained some weight back, Praise God, but they are having a hard time adjusting his coumadin so this next chemo has been delayed for a week.  We want to pray for the blood to normalize so he can go forward with treatment.

Precious Father, Jehovah Rapha,
We come boldly before Your throne today interceding for your children in need of healing.  We ask  specifically for healing and restoration in each case.  We love and honor You and ask Your help in forgiving others so that You may forgive us, cleansing us so that we deserve to be heard.
Father, we ask in Jesus' name that You stop the degeneration of Lillian's eyesight.  Even though we know the timing of miracles is in Your hands, nevertheless we ask for her healing and restoration of the sight she has lost to be suddenly.
We ask in Jesus' name for the total remission of cancer in Ashley's body,  so profoundly that it is completely obliterated, never to return.
We ask in Jesus' name for total success in Grace's surgery today, that you guide her surgeon in the process and strengthen her body for a complete healing.
We ask Father in Jesus' name for a supernatural healing for Frank, that his blood flow as it should, that, if it is your will for chemo to be a part of his healing, that it be administered as needed and his body accept it and the cancer cells be destroyed forever, never to return.
Father, we give You all the praise, honor and glory as we rest on You and You give us authority over all the powers of the enemies as, in Your name, we go against this multitude of sicknesses.
We ask these things in the precious name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Day 171 Back Online

I was without my computer yesterday .........grrrrr.   Finally connected with a neat guy named Clay from Houston in the Little Rock call center that got me all fixed up.   Thank You Father.

I was able to have a productive day on Tuesday.  Today's word from Joel Osteen speaks to taking yourself out of your routine and everyday surroundings.  I did a little of that yesterday.  Took Chipper for a much needed bath, had lunch at TJinn's and then walked around Michael's for a while before shipping some more paintings, picking up Chipper and back home.  That was a huge day for me and meant several hours back on the couch.

The thing about chemotherapy is that it is different from other medications.  If you have an illness, you're given meds which, along with the cure, will make you feel better and stronger.  With chemotherapy, you're given meds which make you feel worse and the longer you take them the weaker  you get.  I've always considered myself strong and fit and able to do most everything on my own.  Yesterday, when coaxing Chipper into the back of the van, as I always do, I went to step up into the van and couldn't.  There was not enough strength in my legs to lift myself up.  I ended up having to set on the floorboard and swing my legs in and then crawl to a spot in the back where I could get him in.  This morning, I vacuumed and just that and moving the couch had my heart racing as if I'd just  run a mini marathon.  Back to the couch.  Now I have to rest up to get enough energy to go paint and, believe me, painting does require energy.... maybe more mental than physical, but energy nevertheless. 

More trees to paint today.  Friend Teri posted a picture of a bronze tree on her fb page today along with the scripture which I've personalized:

"The Lord stands beside me and is my protective shade."          Psalm 121;5

I still have my Trees of Many Colors to start and will as soon as I have the galleries supplied and the commissions done.  It keeps sounding like forever to get to that point but I actually was in the studio two days earlier this round than I was the last round.  I should be able to catch up today on lots of work and maybe get a little ahead of myself.  Woo Hoo.............

Blessed Father, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for this glorious day.  Thank You for the energy to create and produce work that honors You in the process.
Thank You Father for moving me a few days further along the path to cured.  I kneel in humble gratitude for every thing You do for me, no matter how large or how small.
I ask special blessings on friend Frank today as he goes to see his oncologist.  Let Your hand be the guide to his healing and recovery. 
Thank You Father for your healing mercies for everyone fighting this enemy called cancer.  Keep us in the palm of your hand today and let us feel the protective shade you're covering us with.
I ask these things in the precious name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Day 169 Order and Harmony

I felt almost normal for a while this morning.  Drove to McD's for coffee.  My coffee tastes like mud and I used to love WB coffee but it tastes like mud now too.  Only McD's coffee is working for me and it's wonderful.  Had a late night last night watching the Texans win another game.  My guys. :)  Up early, had coffee and breakfast and now nausea is making it's way back into the picture.  I don't want to take meds for it because other than the nausea, I think I may have the energy to paint some today.  If I don't rely on meds, it's going to have to be mind over matter.  Not sure how good I am at that but I'm williing to give it a try because once I start on the meds, it's back to the couch.  What a couch potato I'm turning into.

Today's affirmation in the Daily Word is:

"I am filled with the life, strength, and energy of God"

"The joy of the Lord is your strength."  Nehemiah 8:10

I am really going to have to meditate on this.  It'll have to be quiet time and selah.  That means "to ponder."  Actually one of my favorite series that I've painted is called "Selah."  I have a large commission I'm working on now of that same series.  I guess my thought is that the viewer will want to clear his mind and just look at the painting.  The symmetry and repetition of the trees has a very calming effect.  It's all about order and harmony.   I think in some way, illness is disorder and disharmony in the body. 

So, I have my marching orders for the day.  Affirmation and meditation.  Then to paint.  What an awesome, glorious day this is going to be.

Thank You Precious Lord, Jehavah Rapha, for the strength, the life and the energy of God flowing through my body.  Thank You for the ability to overcome nausea without medications, but by setting my mind to focus on You and Your healing spirit that is moving mightily within me right now.  I ask in Jesus' name that the same healing spirit move mightily within each and every person out there fighting this enemy named cancer.  You said that You have given us the authority to overcome all the powers of the enemy and we stand on that promise today, Father.   You said that You are not a God of disorder, but of peace.  I pray that peace touch the lives and hearts of each of Your warriors as they are overcoming the power of that enemy.
These things I ask in the precious name of Jesus Christ, the name above pain, the name above cancer, the name above all names.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Day 168 Awake, Aware, Alive

I feel like I've just come out of a long dreary haze.  Thursday, Friday and Saturday, I fought nausea with meds and  sleep.  Yesterday, I was awake but weak and my equilibrium was out of kilter.  I couldn't walk in slippers or sandals without staggering from one side to another.  That was a first but it's gone today and I'm just feeling a little down.  Some of it is because of no sunshine.  Some of it is because the Cottonwood Festival in Richardson was this past weekend and in two weeks Artoberfest will be in Galveston.   Artoberfest is a special favorite, I love my spot in front of the Oyster Bar, and seeing long time collectors that have greeted me there every year since Ike. 

Before Ike, I sold my art through a gallery on The Strand in Galveston.  Hurricane Ike destroyed the gallery along with many pieces of my work.  The owners were able to dig three paintings out from under several feet of sludge left behind by nine feet of churning water.  I've washed and scrubbed and cloroxed the pieces to kill any bacteria left.  They're a little faded but still nice pieces.  One of my to do items is to coat them with a marine shellac and hang them on the patio.  They're still just as beautiful and, almost like a rock that has tumbled in water until it's surface is smooth and shiny, they have patina that none of my other pieces have.

I sort of acquaint that to me.  I feel like I've been hit by Ike and tumbled and churned and am curious how I'm going to look and feel and be when I've finished these last five treatments.   God's promises tell me that I'll be better than ever with stronger faith, deeper knowledge, and a new sense of joy that I've never experienced before.

Father God, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for another day on this earth.  Thank You for Your teachings that are interpreted and shared by so many of Your children.  I learn more and more every day.
You are the God of healing and restoration.  Jehava Rapha, thank you for touching the body of every one out there fighting cancer with your healing mercies.  Thank You for restoring to them more than they had before - greater faith, greater strength, greater knowledge.
Thank You for being there for us in every situation.  All we have to do is look for You and You are there.   It's all You, Father.  All You.
In the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names, the one true Messiah.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Day 164 God's Timing, Not Ours

I read most morning from several different inspirational books in addition to the Bible.  This morning they all came together in a most inspired way and I just have to share it with you.
Growing up on a diet of television, we have become accustomed to results within 30 minutes.  Real life doesn't work that way.  Everything I read this morning was about God's timing. 

David said in Psalms 31:15  "My times are in your hands."   And in Psalms 37:7  "Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him."  And in Psalms 37:9 "..but those who wait on the Lord, they shall inherit the earth."

Laurie Dodds writes in her book, Regret, Rehearse,Rejoice:
"The unexpected, unpredictable, confusing, and amazing times are in His hand.  God is at work in all our times."

And from Streams in the Desert by L.B. Cowman:  "Apparent advercity will ultimately become an advantage to those of us doing what is right, if we are willing to keep serving and to wait patiently."

And, by waiting patiently, "The Lord blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the first."
Job 42:14

You may not see the correlation that I am seeing in these but I know that I am so much more blessed through this trial than I ever would have been otherwise.  I am grateful for new friends and prayer partners.  I am blessed by sharing words that have helped others.  God is so good and so perfect in His timing.  How would I have handled this if it had come 10 years ago.  Much differently I think.  Not that I've handled it in the best way all of the time, but I am learning patience and waiting on God.  I don't have to resolve everything myself.  I can't resolve everything myself. 

I'm sitting here now, writing, with a needle into a port in my chest that is a constant irritation but it comes out in 3 hours and I'll be free of it for another 10 days.  I'm sitting here now, nauseated, writing, but  have taken one med and as soon as I visit the dr, I'll take another med and sleep some of the nausea off.  I have finished Round 7 of  joy juice and am patiently waiting for 8 - 12 whereas a few short weeks ago I was not able to see the end of this and ready to give up.   I am not anxious that I was only able to paint 3 days in the last two weeks.  Those few hours were hours of satisfying accomplishment.  Maybe this cycle, I'll be able to paint even more days.  However many hours or days, I accept with gratitude.  As Mel often reminds me, "God's got your back."  And He does. 
So, from this place of peace and patience today, I send lots of love and prayers.

But first, a praise report.  Friend Ruth who had a petscan earlier this week received the good report we were praying for.  Darlene's Chanel had successful surgery and the tumor was just under the skin and doctor's report was very encouraging.   Praise God.  I gained 3 lbs over the last two weeks and Dr. P was so excited I thought he was going to dance a jig.  Kidney function - perfect.  Praise God for giving me two really strong ones because one is now giving Mel a much healthier life and the other is taking care of me through cancer and treatment.   Blood platelets down but Dr. P says that a sign of "good chemo working."  I'm happy.

Father God, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for another glorious day on this beautiful earth that you breathed into creation.  Thank You for hearing the prayers of Your children and, in Your own timing, answering every one of them. 
Help us to release any anger or unforgiveness that may be hiding in our hearts today, Lord.  Resentment and unforgiveness are like another cancer that eats away at our souls instead of our bodies.  We know that we must first forgive others before You can forgive us. 
We ask a special blessing today on every warrior out there fighting cancer and for every care giver fighting along side of them.  Hold them in the palm of Your hand today, giving them peace, confidence and patience.
We pray these things in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Day 162 Prayer Requests

What an honor it is to be asked to pray for others.  And what an honor to have others care enough to pray for me.  God is so amazing how He shows up in this sort of game of give and take.  I know that whatever we give out prayerwise, comes back tenfold and even more.

A special request today from my best friend Darlene.  We prayed a while back for her long time friend Ruth who recently completed three years of chemo for lung cancer.  She is going today for a followup petscan.  Shudder.............that's the radioactive one where you have to stay away from kids and pregnant ladies after being lit up.  So, today we're praying for a great report for Ruth.  She is a kind and gracious lady and deserving of God's healing mercies.

Also, Darlene's Chanel is going in for surgery today.  Prayers the tumor is not a malignancy.

Friend Frank, who we've prayed for, needs our prayers again.  He is having a hard time eating, has lost lots of weight and drs say they'll give no more chemo until he gains some weight back.  I understand what he's dealing with.   Mud mouth.  Everything is nauseating but in the long run, I've learned to sort of eat around it.  Prayers that Frank will too so he can continue with treatment. 

I made a new art friend last week, Clover, and she has posted an anonymous prayer request for my healing on her FB page.  She reported that many of her friends responded so now I'm being held up in prayer by a new group of friends.  How good and great our God is.  How amazing in the way He brings His people together so that in prayer our power is so much greater than just the sum of our numbers.

Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
You are the God of healing and restoration.  I believe in that and know that in my healing You are restoring more to me than was there before.  My faith, my belief, my awareness of Your presence in and around me at all times - all those feelings and senses have been heightened many times over and I am grateful. 
Thank You Father for hearing our requests that we raise to you in a unified voice for healing in the lives of our friends fighting this awful enemy.  Thank You Father for our brothers and sisters in Christ that hold each one of us warriors up in prayer.  Thank You Father for everything You do for us every day.  We give You all the praise, the honor and the glory.
In Jesus' name, the name above all names.