Thank you all for the wonderful birthday wishes. They all came true because I had a memorable evening with my little family. Though we're few, the love is huge and I'm so grateful.
I looked at myself in the mirror in Mel's house last night and I was shocked. The mirror is larger and lighting is different from mine and I saw for the first time how much hair I've lost, mostly in the front. I sort of look like those guys getting hair transplants where you see little plugs of hair poking up out of a bare scalp. Not a pretty sight. Oh well. I just realized that I don't care. I worried early on about getting a wig if this happened but now I've decided it's just not worth the trouble. Lots of women have thin hair and, besides, it'll grow back once chemo is over.............I hope. Not that I don't care how I look. I do. But there are some things that are just not worth worrying about.
I had an ah ha moment yesterday. I ran in to Walmart to pick something up and the lady in front of me in the checkout line turned out to be someone I hadn't seen in several years. We hugged and when she asked how I was doing, instead of telling her I was going thru chemo for colon cancer to explain why I look like a pale balding old lady, I just smiled and said, "Great." I didn't realize until I had left the store what an important moment that was for me. I did not identify myself as a cancer fighter/survivor/victor. Just me. Jo Edwards and I'm doing great.
I'll be leaving in a few minutes for blood work and then tomorrow the start of treatment #10. Five months down. I won't make light of it because it's been a really difficult five months but there's light at the end of the tunnel. Only two more treatments after this one, then a pet scan and I'll be done.
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for this cool and cloudy day, a sign of a change of seasons, and for the excitement and anticipation that change brings.
I thank You Father for taking me through the last five months, wrapped in Your healing and loving arms. Thank You for all You've taught me through this.
I ask that same comfort for each of my fellow cancer warriors out there. I ask Your healing mercies for each one as they face another day of challenges. Teach us to count it all joy as we draw closer to You through these changes.
I ask special blessings on the medical staff and care givers that tend these valiant warriors. Give them special insight into what is best for each one of us.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen
Monday, November 12, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Day 202 Happy Birthday ................
to me!!!! I think that from now on, birthdays are going to have much more meaning than they have ever had before. Before it was just another birthday. Now, it's ANOTHER BIRTHDAY!! Praise God! I'm so grateful to be here and in relative good health. I know that nothing will ever be the same again and that's okay. Change is good.
Yesterday's Daily Word was about change and this statement has stayed with me.
"Just as the seasons change to allow God's life giving cycle to do it's powerful work, my life changes to allow God's life giving presence to do it's work in me."
I have to say that in the midst of a diagnosis of colon cancer and in the midst of six months of chemo, I've never felt so cared for or God's presence so intensely. Something good can be found in every situation and if it is bringing me closer to God through my situation, instead of screaming that I want my life back, I can only say Thank You Father.
So, I have a restful day planned so I can spend the evening celebrating with my precious daughter, son-in-law and grandson. They're frying oysters and shrimp for me and I can't wait.
I have a prayer request for me today. I'll be doing bloodwork tomorrow and if my white blood cells are too low, I'll have to have another shot to supercharge my bone marrow to produce more. I had one after the treatment before last and it was the sickest I had been in a long while. I'm asking for prayer that I won't need that shot this coming week.
Father God, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for another day on this glorious earth that You breathed into existence. Thank You for another year to worship and honor You. Thank You for change bringing You closer and more present in my life.
Father, I ask today that you bless my body with strong white blood cells so I won't need another shot next week. You are the miracle maker and I am asking this in Jesus' name.
I ask Father that every cancer warrior out there today feel Your love and healing presence in their life as they go through the same changes that I am going through. Bless them, strengthen them and let them appreciate all that You are doing for them every minute of every day.
In Jesus' name, the name above cancer, the name above all names.
Amen
Yesterday's Daily Word was about change and this statement has stayed with me.
"Just as the seasons change to allow God's life giving cycle to do it's powerful work, my life changes to allow God's life giving presence to do it's work in me."
I have to say that in the midst of a diagnosis of colon cancer and in the midst of six months of chemo, I've never felt so cared for or God's presence so intensely. Something good can be found in every situation and if it is bringing me closer to God through my situation, instead of screaming that I want my life back, I can only say Thank You Father.
So, I have a restful day planned so I can spend the evening celebrating with my precious daughter, son-in-law and grandson. They're frying oysters and shrimp for me and I can't wait.
I have a prayer request for me today. I'll be doing bloodwork tomorrow and if my white blood cells are too low, I'll have to have another shot to supercharge my bone marrow to produce more. I had one after the treatment before last and it was the sickest I had been in a long while. I'm asking for prayer that I won't need that shot this coming week.
Father God, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for another day on this glorious earth that You breathed into existence. Thank You for another year to worship and honor You. Thank You for change bringing You closer and more present in my life.
Father, I ask today that you bless my body with strong white blood cells so I won't need another shot next week. You are the miracle maker and I am asking this in Jesus' name.
I ask Father that every cancer warrior out there today feel Your love and healing presence in their life as they go through the same changes that I am going through. Bless them, strengthen them and let them appreciate all that You are doing for them every minute of every day.
In Jesus' name, the name above cancer, the name above all names.
Amen
Friday, November 9, 2012
Day 200 Not Alone
It's hard to understand the ups and downs of this crazy treatment unless you're going through it or have been through it. I try to analyze what I've done, what I've eaten, what I should have done to make the difference in a good Monday, bad Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and now....a good Friday. No rhyme nor reason to it. I guess it's just how my body is assimilating the chemicals and which med is taking precedence over the other.
Every time I have joy juice, I receive a list of the meds that are mixed into this divine cocktail. Last time it was seven different chemos plus the meds I take orally to control the side effects. What a strong body God has given me to be able to handle all of that stuff. Thank You Jesus.
One of the scriptures I read this morning was this:
" Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure." Psalm 147:5
That tells me that He knows everything I'm going through. He understands what I'm dealing with and I'm not alone. Truly comforting because I do feel alone sometimes. No, I don't want anyone helping me. For me, that would be like giving up. The more independent I can stay, the more normal I feel. I know some people don't understand and I'm so grateful for all the offers of cooking and shopping for me. Those are things I can't relinquish.
For two mornings now, I've been able to drink my own french press coffee. For the past four months, it's tasted like mud and I finally found McD's coffee. No need now. Yesterday I cooked chicken breasts and veggies. Making headway because I have been unable to stand the smell of food cooking. I think my body knows only 3 more treatments and it's getting prepared for getting back to the food I need to be eating rather than eating whatever my stomach can tolerate. Yay!
Two special prayer requests today from Grace who has been a great friend to this blog. She is asking for prayer for Darla who, after a bout with breast cancer 20 years ago, has had it reoccur. She is also asking for prayer for Charlie and Doris as Doris has been put in a home for Alzeheimer patients. Thank you in advance for those of you who pray with us through this blog.
Precious Father, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for Your unmeasureable understanding as You hold each of Your children in the palm of Your hand while they are dealing with sometimes seemingly hopeless illnesses.
We ask Your healing mercies today for Darla. She was a victor over the enemy in the past and we pray that You strengthen her for the fight she is in today, giving her such complete victory over the enemy that he never returns.
We ask also for special mercies and blessings on Charlie and Doris as they step into another phase of her illness. Grant them the peace that surpasses all understanding as they deal with the day to day heartache of this illness which is an enemy in itself. Bless the families, doctors and caregivers of each one of these special people and let your comforting arms surround them as they feel the power of your love.
We ask these things in the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.
Amen
Every time I have joy juice, I receive a list of the meds that are mixed into this divine cocktail. Last time it was seven different chemos plus the meds I take orally to control the side effects. What a strong body God has given me to be able to handle all of that stuff. Thank You Jesus.
One of the scriptures I read this morning was this:
" Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure." Psalm 147:5
That tells me that He knows everything I'm going through. He understands what I'm dealing with and I'm not alone. Truly comforting because I do feel alone sometimes. No, I don't want anyone helping me. For me, that would be like giving up. The more independent I can stay, the more normal I feel. I know some people don't understand and I'm so grateful for all the offers of cooking and shopping for me. Those are things I can't relinquish.
For two mornings now, I've been able to drink my own french press coffee. For the past four months, it's tasted like mud and I finally found McD's coffee. No need now. Yesterday I cooked chicken breasts and veggies. Making headway because I have been unable to stand the smell of food cooking. I think my body knows only 3 more treatments and it's getting prepared for getting back to the food I need to be eating rather than eating whatever my stomach can tolerate. Yay!
Two special prayer requests today from Grace who has been a great friend to this blog. She is asking for prayer for Darla who, after a bout with breast cancer 20 years ago, has had it reoccur. She is also asking for prayer for Charlie and Doris as Doris has been put in a home for Alzeheimer patients. Thank you in advance for those of you who pray with us through this blog.
Precious Father, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for Your unmeasureable understanding as You hold each of Your children in the palm of Your hand while they are dealing with sometimes seemingly hopeless illnesses.
We ask Your healing mercies today for Darla. She was a victor over the enemy in the past and we pray that You strengthen her for the fight she is in today, giving her such complete victory over the enemy that he never returns.
We ask also for special mercies and blessings on Charlie and Doris as they step into another phase of her illness. Grant them the peace that surpasses all understanding as they deal with the day to day heartache of this illness which is an enemy in itself. Bless the families, doctors and caregivers of each one of these special people and let your comforting arms surround them as they feel the power of your love.
We ask these things in the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.
Amen
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Day 198 God Bless America
Just a quick update on me..... Monday was an awesome day. Yesterday not so much but I did get out to vote and run necessary errands and then down for the count. I'm up today, but not feeling so well. Probably more couch time but if that's what it takes to get me up and going maybe tomorrow, so be it.
What I want to do this morning is take my focus off cancer and chemo for a bit and talk about the election. I know, everyone is so glad it's over. Most of the people I communicate with voted for the other candidate. I expected to open emails and fb this morning and see lots of angry rants and defeatist posts. Not so!
All of my readings were uplifting and encouraging and I'm so proud of everyone.
"The Son still shines."
"God is still on the throne."
"Pray for our leaders."
Then friend Rosemary sent out this Verse for the Day.
"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people...for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." 2 Timothy 2:1-2
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for the understanding and guidance you are giving the people of this wonderful nation that still counts You as our Lord and our God. I ask Your blessings on each leader, that you inspire them to follow Your teachings in each decision they make.
I ask also that You touch each person fighting cancer today, that Your healing spirit move mightily within each one of them, girding them for the fight and that You gird our nation and leaders for the fight to protect our right to follow and worship You.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen
What I want to do this morning is take my focus off cancer and chemo for a bit and talk about the election. I know, everyone is so glad it's over. Most of the people I communicate with voted for the other candidate. I expected to open emails and fb this morning and see lots of angry rants and defeatist posts. Not so!
All of my readings were uplifting and encouraging and I'm so proud of everyone.
"The Son still shines."
"God is still on the throne."
"Pray for our leaders."
Then friend Rosemary sent out this Verse for the Day.
"I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people...for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness." 2 Timothy 2:1-2
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank You for the understanding and guidance you are giving the people of this wonderful nation that still counts You as our Lord and our God. I ask Your blessings on each leader, that you inspire them to follow Your teachings in each decision they make.
I ask also that You touch each person fighting cancer today, that Your healing spirit move mightily within each one of them, girding them for the fight and that You gird our nation and leaders for the fight to protect our right to follow and worship You.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen
Monday, November 5, 2012
Day 196 Better Yet!
Oh my gosh, I got up feeling great this morning. Started right in painting and painted for a few hours. Laid down for a nap after and realized I didn't need or want a nap. What's up with that?! I'm excited. Thank You Jesus. My appetite is good and nausea is at a minimum so no meds necessary so far today. Yay!
Tomorrow is election day. Probably most of you have already voted. I haven't, as the polling place is only 1/2 block from my house so I usually wait until the actual day to vote. If you haven't voted, please be sure to. Friend Grace reminded me how important it is to pray before voting to make sure we are guided to elect a leader that will lead us in a Godly manner and protect our right to worship our God.
"Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord." Psalm 33:11
I have a special prayer request today. Ray, whose wife and daughter are part of my church family, has received news that cancer has spread to his liver and other parts. Please pray for his healing and for his family who care for him daily. He has some chemo treatments left so prayers that they are powerful and effective.
Friend Frank's family reports that he has another treatment and then will have time off for the holiday. My upcoming treatments are timed perfectly so that my birthday and Thanksgiving both fall on my off weeks. Last Thanksgiving was when I first started feeling so poorly that I thought something serious might be wrong. This one will be a celebration and a true Thanks Giving.
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
I thank You so much for my good health today and for being able to do the things that I'm meant to do. I give You all the praise, honor and glory.
I ask today Father for a miracle as Your healing mercies grant Ray more time with his family, more time to love and worship You, more time to be an example of what prayer can do.
Thank You for the miracle You're working in Frank's life as this journey brings him and his family closer to You than ever before.
Father, I ask Your blessings on our nation as we go to the polls tomorrow. Guide each one of us in making the right decision as we choose which candidates to elect.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.
Amen
Tomorrow is election day. Probably most of you have already voted. I haven't, as the polling place is only 1/2 block from my house so I usually wait until the actual day to vote. If you haven't voted, please be sure to. Friend Grace reminded me how important it is to pray before voting to make sure we are guided to elect a leader that will lead us in a Godly manner and protect our right to worship our God.
"Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord." Psalm 33:11
I have a special prayer request today. Ray, whose wife and daughter are part of my church family, has received news that cancer has spread to his liver and other parts. Please pray for his healing and for his family who care for him daily. He has some chemo treatments left so prayers that they are powerful and effective.
Friend Frank's family reports that he has another treatment and then will have time off for the holiday. My upcoming treatments are timed perfectly so that my birthday and Thanksgiving both fall on my off weeks. Last Thanksgiving was when I first started feeling so poorly that I thought something serious might be wrong. This one will be a celebration and a true Thanks Giving.
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
I thank You so much for my good health today and for being able to do the things that I'm meant to do. I give You all the praise, honor and glory.
I ask today Father for a miracle as Your healing mercies grant Ray more time with his family, more time to love and worship You, more time to be an example of what prayer can do.
Thank You for the miracle You're working in Frank's life as this journey brings him and his family closer to You than ever before.
Father, I ask Your blessings on our nation as we go to the polls tomorrow. Guide each one of us in making the right decision as we choose which candidates to elect.
These things I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.
Amen
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Day 195 Better, Praise God
Yay! I'm feeling better. The only thing left from the treatment is my palms are very sensitive. Chipper's soft fur feels like cords when I pet him. Weird. That's okay, it won't last forever and it's not debilitating. I'm just excited. I know that I'll have to rest a couple of times today but I think I'm ahead of schedule for recovery from my last round of joy juice.
"The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust Him." Nahum 1:7
This was posted on FB this morning. How awesome that we can be nurtured anywhere we turn. I added it to my journal of favorite verses. Nahum isn't a readily quoted book but what an wonderful promise to come out of it. I know the Lord is good. I know he's my refuge in times of trouble. I know He cares for those who trust Him. I feel so grateful to have Him on my side through this.
What I'm looking forward to now is three more treatments and then regaining my strength. I cannot wait for that. Lots of things I simply can't do now and that doesn't set right with me. I've always been an "I can do it myself" kind of person. It's been a good lesson to have to rely on the help of others and even more, to rely on the prayers of others.
It crossed my mind the other day that there are probably some people who have never had anyone pray for them. Not because they're necessarily bad people but because they simply don't have God in their life nor does their family or friends. How sad. I was wondering what I could and I thought that when I'm out and about and see someone that looks lost spiritually, I can silently send them blessings. Maybe I'll challenge myself when I next run errands to see how many people I can bless.
Father God, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank you for starting me back on the road to recovery. I feel better and I give You all the praise, honor and glory. It's all You, Father, all You.
Help me this week to keep others in the forefront of my mind and prayers. As I pray for my fellow warriors fighting this enemy, let me remember to pray as well for the lost and forgotten. Let me bless each one I pass in some way.
I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.
Amen
"The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust Him." Nahum 1:7
This was posted on FB this morning. How awesome that we can be nurtured anywhere we turn. I added it to my journal of favorite verses. Nahum isn't a readily quoted book but what an wonderful promise to come out of it. I know the Lord is good. I know he's my refuge in times of trouble. I know He cares for those who trust Him. I feel so grateful to have Him on my side through this.
What I'm looking forward to now is three more treatments and then regaining my strength. I cannot wait for that. Lots of things I simply can't do now and that doesn't set right with me. I've always been an "I can do it myself" kind of person. It's been a good lesson to have to rely on the help of others and even more, to rely on the prayers of others.
It crossed my mind the other day that there are probably some people who have never had anyone pray for them. Not because they're necessarily bad people but because they simply don't have God in their life nor does their family or friends. How sad. I was wondering what I could and I thought that when I'm out and about and see someone that looks lost spiritually, I can silently send them blessings. Maybe I'll challenge myself when I next run errands to see how many people I can bless.
Father God, Jehovah Rapha,
Thank you for starting me back on the road to recovery. I feel better and I give You all the praise, honor and glory. It's all You, Father, all You.
Help me this week to keep others in the forefront of my mind and prayers. As I pray for my fellow warriors fighting this enemy, let me remember to pray as well for the lost and forgotten. Let me bless each one I pass in some way.
I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, the name above all names.
Amen
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Day 194 Still Shaky
I slept all day Thursday after getting unplugged from the chemo and all day Friday. I had no more reactions to cold, but I'm still sort of weak and shaky and old friend, nausea, is back. I wrote morning pages this morning and I hardly recognized my handwriting. It was sort of tiny and squiggly and looked nothing like the writing on the previous pages.
What kept coming through this morning in my writing was gratitude and thankfulness. In a way, I just feel so fortunate that I'm able to paint a little, not much but enough to have enough sales to stay current with bills. I'm so grateful for the people that follow this blog and pray for me and for others on the same journey that I'm on. I'm thankful that I only have THREE MORE TREATMENTS and then I'll be able to work on getting my strength and some muscle mass back. Right now I resemble a deflated balloon but I know that once I'm done with joy juice, normal will quickly return.
I'm grateful for my precious family, my church family, my friends, my home, my little animal family that sticks to me like glue. Chipper Dale, my golden, takes every step that I take. Crystal, my white cat, loves when I'm down for the count so she can snuggle up with me and not share my attention with Chipper.
Most of all, precious Father, I am grateful for Your protection, Your healing and knowing that no matter what happens, You're there with me and for me.
I humble myself before You in gratitude for Your loving presence. I ask that same knowledge of Your love and protection be felt by everyone else out there fighting this dreaded enemy.
I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen.
What kept coming through this morning in my writing was gratitude and thankfulness. In a way, I just feel so fortunate that I'm able to paint a little, not much but enough to have enough sales to stay current with bills. I'm so grateful for the people that follow this blog and pray for me and for others on the same journey that I'm on. I'm thankful that I only have THREE MORE TREATMENTS and then I'll be able to work on getting my strength and some muscle mass back. Right now I resemble a deflated balloon but I know that once I'm done with joy juice, normal will quickly return.
I'm grateful for my precious family, my church family, my friends, my home, my little animal family that sticks to me like glue. Chipper Dale, my golden, takes every step that I take. Crystal, my white cat, loves when I'm down for the count so she can snuggle up with me and not share my attention with Chipper.
Most of all, precious Father, I am grateful for Your protection, Your healing and knowing that no matter what happens, You're there with me and for me.
I humble myself before You in gratitude for Your loving presence. I ask that same knowledge of Your love and protection be felt by everyone else out there fighting this dreaded enemy.
I ask in the name of Jesus Christ, the one true Messiah.
Amen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)