You would think that since I'm receiving the same chemo every two weeks, the side effects would be the same. Not so. The neuropathy this time has been pretty intense. Nerve endings in my fingers and toes feel like electrical shocks every time I touch something that isn't warm. I have the temp in the house turned up above where I like it but it seems to be helping.
I was unhooked from the pump around noon yesterday and the symptoms have eased a little. My salivary glands still hurt terribly with my first bite of food and tear ducts are even worse if my eyes water. Hopefully today is the last day of this and by tomorrow I'll be getting back to my version of normal.
Just two more. I keep telling myself.........just two more. Just two more and I'll be done. Just two more and no more nausea, no more neuropathy. Just two more and my hair will start to grow back. Just two more and my head and hands and legs and voice won't shake. Just two more and I'll have the energy to exercise a little and start to get some muscle tone back. Just two more and I'll start back on the anticancer diet that I can't stomach right now. Just two more and I'll have my life back.
Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself today. Sorry about that but I just get there once in a while and it's almost easier to give in to it and get it over with than to fight it and have it lingering in the back of my mind for a longer time.
Friend Rachel posted this scripture this morning and it helped. Thanks Rachel.
"Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
Please forgive my whining and self pity. I know there are so many that are much worse off than me. Just let me remember that You are always with me, holding me in the palm of Your hand, wrapping me in Your loving arms. I am so grateful and love You so much.
Thank You for all You do for me all day every day. Give me the strength and courage to weather this storm as a child of Yours should...with faith and knowledge that no matter the outcome, it is all good.
In Jesus' precious name,
Amen
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