No, I'm not wondering why I had cancer. I'm wondering why I was healed of cancer when other people are not so fortunate. When I was reading yesterday, I read about a young man named Eutychus that fell asleep while Paul was preaching and fell from a third story window and died. Paul went out, laid down on top of him and brought him back to life. But then this morning I read at the end of Paul's second letter to Timothy that "I left Trophimus sick in Miletus." Why didn't Paul just heal him too so he could have traveled with Paul? He could have. Was he selective in whom he healed?
So, is my healing solely from God? If it were, then that would mean that He heals selectively and I don't believe that. Is my faith greater than others that I was healed and they aren't? I don't think so. Is it because I have tried harder than others to do whatever I can to be healed? Maybe. I think He has given each of us a share in the responsibility of the healing, whether it be by faith, belief, or other avenues.
Years ago, Dr. Bernie Siegel wrote about supernatural and miraculous healings he had witnessed among cancer patients he had treated. He said that some patients want more than anything and will do anything to be healed. Some patients only want to be healed if medicine can heal them so that they don't have to exert much effort on their own and some actually on some level don't want to be healed at all. I, for one, wanted that healing. Mine did not come through a supernatural stroke of God's hand even though many are healed that way but through a long and arduous series of treatments inspired by God and developed by man. On top of that, I have worked hard to study and discern everything that I can about what I might do to help myself in the healing. And I have worked hard to put into practice the information that I've discovered.
I wonder now if I had been healed instantly, supernaturally, would I have learned all I've learned? Would I have drawn as close to God as I have? Would I have studied and developed a new understanding and love for the Savior who gave His all for me? Or would I have simply been grateful and then returned to the way I was before the diagnosis? Who knows? What I do know is that I am at the best place in my life that I could ever imagine. I'm not rich. I'm not perfectly healthy. I'm not young. And it doesn't matter because my life is blessed every day in every way. What a great and loving God I serve.
Precious Lord, Jehovah Rapha,
There is so much I don't understand and that is okay. I know that You will reveal to me whatever it is I need to know when the time is right. I thank You for my healing that I know is from You, even though it came through the medicines of man. You are the Great Physician and I give You all the praise, honor and glory. I thank You for this journey of discovery that You have placed me on. I will continue to move forward, never looking back with regret as I know that only Your good is in my future. I love You, Father. I love You.
Please let Your healing spirit be revealed in Your daughter, Jo, as she goes for a scan today. Let it reveal that Your healing was complete and that she never has to face the enemy again.
These things I ask in the name of the risen Christ, Jesus.
Amen
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