Day 96 It's Been One Bad Trip

Round two of chemo was even worse than round one.   The nausea meds the dr gave me just didn't work and by Friday I had to make a trip to the er.  Two bags of meds and 1 1/2 bags of fluid later I was home, still sick but not vomiting.  The er doc gave me old time fenugren (sp?) that gratefully knocked me out but also allowed me to eat a little bit and drink some.  Saturday is a haze and here it is Sunday morning and I think I may be able to finally have a semi normal day.   A little weak but I'm actually up and at the computer. 

I have fired my oncologist and am moving on to a new doctor.  I have had misgivings since day one with this onco but hesitated to change.  I started to interview others after the first treatment but backed out.  There have been too many things done and statements made that have made me question if he was the doctor for me.   The new onco has been recommended by other patients and is known for his care and compassion.  Plus he has a record of survivors.  Yippee! I was to meet with him on Friday when I ended up in the er.  Since I couldn't go to his office, he came  to me to introduce himself and tell me that he had already reviewed my records and I am going in for a consultation tomorrow.   I don't know if it means a different treatment or if it is just someone who will work harder to help me get through the same treatment without my wanting to give up.  I do not intend to be this sick for the next five months. 

On an up note, art friend Betty sent me a picture I have to share with you.  First of all, Betty and I spoke by phone last week and she prayed over me which I am so grateful for.  She also told me the story of her now 94 year old mother, Harriet,  who went through breast cancer and colon cancer in her early 80's..... which makes me sound like the biggest whiney baby ever.  After her bout with cancer, she began to paint.  Is she not one beautiful cancer victor?! 

I say all the time how God repeatedly places the most awesome people in my life.  Betty and her Mother, Harriet, are just two of the most recent and I'm grateful.   Friend, Grace, sent me this earlier this week when I was whining: 

"Behold, God is my salvation.  I will trust and not be afraid."  Isaiah 12:2

Precious Lord,

I do trust you but I admit that sometimes I am afraid.  I am afraid, not of death, but of not being able to see the end of this journey and of being so sick that I don't care if I make it to the end allowing the enemy to win.  Thank You, Father, for putting people in my life to uplift me and give me the strength I need to work my way through this journey.  I can say with resolve today what I couldn't two days ago and that is that I can fight this enemy and I can defeat this enemy because with You, all things are possible.

I ask special blessings today, Father, for Harriet who is a shining example of what You can do for those who love and trust You, and for her daughter Betty who You placed in my life through my art.  Special blessings also Father for sweet Renee who is defeating breast cancer and has just completed 11 treatments with surgery scheduled for September.  

I thank You Father for this beautiful glorious day.  Help me to be the best that I can be today and to make the most of it to honor You.

I love you Father.

In Jesus' precious name, the name above all names,

Amen