Day 119 What's In My Grocery Cart?

Hahahaha.........  You're not gonna believe............

I've had three pretty good days in a row.  Had a bad spell early evening yesterday and that resulted in a big cry but then I started forcing water and seemed to help within about 10 minutes.  I don't know why I keep crying.  I guess I just feel so hopeless when that awful nausea hits and I know it can go on for days but this time it didn't.  Thank You Father. I know you're giving me more and more tools to better handle this.

So, today was bloodwork in preparation for tomorrow.  I got the big woman with the heavy hand instead of the handsome man with the magical needle but......... oh well.  Next time.  Spent about an hour in Krogers getting ready for the next seige.   I'll have the pump on from tomorrow until Thursday.  I'm just feeling sure it is going to be easier this time.  I'm certainly better prepared and have enough food laid in for an army.

If you were with me leading up to surgery, you know I was pretty regimented in the anti cancer diet I followed.  Now, not so much.  In order for me to eat something, it has to meet two of three criteria.  Sweet, salty and for sure greasy.  I don't know why.  Haven't been able to drink coffee for two weeks now.  I bought carrots today to juice in hopes of getting something of value in my system but I can smell them when I open the fridge and my stomach turns.  I may have to just juice apples and grapes.

Back to my grocery cart.  I now know the true meaning of comfort food.  It is eating whatever you think is going to make you feel good and there need be no rhyme nor reason for any of it.  It certainly has nothing to do with childhood favorites.  Remember the chicken livers?  Two months ago, some of this stuff wouldn't have been allowed in my cart, much less my mouth.  Not now.   Beanie Wienies.  Whaaaaat?   Yes, I can't wait to get into them.  Pepperidge Farm Orange Milanos.  Oh shoot, I was going to get some vanilla wafers.  I'll put that on a list for Mel.  Fruit punch.   Whaaat?  Yes, fruit punch as in Hawaiian Punch.  During chemo, I can't drink carbonated drinks.  They cause heart burn.  Also nothing cold but that's okay.  I'm used by now to room temp drinks.  The chemo effects nerve endings in my mouth and only finally today was I able to drink a Dr Pepper with ice.  That'll end tomorrow.  In celebration of eating cold, I bought just a single serving of Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream and scoffed that down already.  As a matter of fact, I've been eating almost every hour.  Sort of like a bear getting ready for hibernation.  Bet I've put a few pounds back on and for right now, that's okay by me.

I did buy some healthy frozen meals.  Once chemo starts, one of them will satisfy probably two meals.  I bought some artisan bread and turkey/cheese for sammies.  I never make sandwiches at home.  Gluten free is obviously out the door.   Peanut butter snack sandwiches.  They were a life saver last time when I was too nauseated to eat but really hungry.  Just one or two pieces would get me through most of a day.   I did walk thru the health food section which I've been avoiding since chemo started and bought the seaweed rice chips I love.  This is the first time in almost two months that I had a taste for them and that is probably my one concession to healthy other than the carrots and apples.  Palmiers and pumpkin empanadas.  Yay!!!!  I may save those for breakfast in the morning.  For sure it won't be oatmeal.   Oh, and the other foods so far on the "I'll Never Eat This Again" list?  Watermelon :(, roast beef and raw spinach and the good cake with blue icing.  That had some alarming results. 

So, I'm ready.  Every thing is washed, fresh bedding on the bed.  Chipper has been bathed and Crystal has a clean potty.  Just need to vacuum dog hair this evening and we're ready to go.  Yay.  I'm so ready to get it done.  Once this round is over, I'm 1/3 of the way done.  It'll be 4 down and only 8 to go.  Jehovah Rapha is blessing Dr. Popatia and his nurse Jennifer right now, the chemo they'll be giving me and every bite of food I'm eating in preparation for this.  I'm actually looking forward to getting there tomorrow and getting past this next round.  Praise God.

Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching.  My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.  He who does not love me will not obey my teaching.  These words you hear are not my own, they belong to the Father who sent me."  John 14:23-24

Jehovah Rapha,
I am so grateful for Your healing spirit that is moving within me right now, destroying every cancer cell that would destroy me and for restoring my body to health and my life to what it was before but even better.  Better because I am learning more and more every day to depend on You, to love You, to honor You and to obey You. 
I thank You for this glorious day that You've given me and every one else fighting this same battle.  With You on our side, our efforts will not be in vain.
I'm asking a special blessing on those friends who join me daily in prayer to you.  What amazing children of Yours they are.  Thank You for placing so many amazing people in my life.  There's a reason for this journey and each day reveals another reason for it.
I love You Father.  It's all You.
These things I pray in Jesus' name, the name above all names, the one true Messiah.
Amen.