Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Day 23 Juan Valdez, You The Man!

Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh, having my first coffee since Sunday.  God bless Juan Valdez and his little burro for bringing Colombian coffee to the masses.  Yesterday, I was allowed a light breakfast with no coffee and today, no breakfast and no coffee before tests.   I've talked about giving up all the flavored and sugared creamers in my coffee and I'm still so happy to have my morning cuppa Joe.  Yay.  If I was an acrobat, I would probably turn a flip.   I know that's silly but I feel .......... hmmm....how can I describe how I feel?   

I feel almost like I'm traveling through a foreign land with strange people and strange food all around me and I'm just really homesick.  My daily routine is disrupted.  The foods I have always been familiar with are no longer in my fridge or on my plate.  The people I'm spending most of my time with are strangers that I probably won't be seeing again, not someone that will become a friend or a collector that I'll be getting to know.   I'm driving from one doctor or one test to another daily instead of settling myself in the studio to spend my day painting.  It seems right now like there's only one remnant of that former life and that is my morning coffee.  I miss my old life and I want it back.  I want it back!!  I WANT IT BACK!!!  It was familiar and comfortable and creative and satisfying. 

I know on some level that I'll get my old life back but it will be with changes.  It will never really be the same again.  It took a long time to get to a point where I could truthfully tell people, "I love my life!"  I went from a three story victorian that housed me, my animals, and a real estate business to a small cottage where I can spend my days just painting.  I treasure my simple life where it doesn't matter if the floors are swept, if the clothes are picked up off the floor, if the books are put back on the shelf or if my house is company worthy.  All that matters is that I have food in the fridge and plenty of canvases and paints in the studio, and not necessarily in that order.   Praise God!

It's okay.  I can adjust.  Everyone has to face change and deal with it.  So, I guess at this point I have to figure out how to use this change to make my life better, to maybe bring a new dimension to my art,  to become closer to God and honor Him throughout and, maybe through this, to help others deal with the changes in their lives.  

I'm so excited to share this.  I wrote the director of one of the art shows I participate in every year to explain why I have to cancel for this year.  He wrote back that he's a 10 year survivor of colon cancer.  It's about time I start hearing from those victors that have won that war. 

Thank You, Father, for these survivors who are sharing their stories and good news, giving hope to the "newbies" out there facing the unknown.  Thank You for Your healing hand moving mightily to heal the body and spirit of every one facing the enemy in the form of cancer.  Thank You for forgiving my impatience and self pity and, most of all, thank You, Father, for another great and healing day.
In Jesus' name.
Amen

1 comment:

  1. Wanted to let you know that my step-son just completed all his follow-up test at M.D. Anderson - great news - everything is all clear and no signs of cancer returning. Thanks to all your prayer buddies for their prayers for him. Prayers are answered - please continue to pray for him. Sue (Hope) Werschky

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